I have been dating a guy for the past 6 months, and he has been wonderful to me. We get along very well, we hang out a lot, and we always have a grand old time.

However, recently, as both of us look for jobs (I'm looking for a summer internship, he's looking for a full time job) in similar fields, he has started to bring me down a lot. He openly tells me that I shouldn't waste my time applying to certain positions or jobs because I don't have a chance. He will tell his friends if there is an internship opening in a company that he's applying to, but never mentions it to me.

I have been very depressed about my own abilities lately, and I don't know if he's being brutally honest or if he's just being a jerk. I am not sure what to do because I liked him so much and haven't had a major problem with him up until now.

VictorM's advice:

Nah, he's not a jerk; he's just a typical guy. Guys in general are notorious for doing this. Instead of listening and empathizing, they try to solve the problem. It's not easy for such guys to see what they are doing wrong because in their minds, they are trying so hard to help, you just don't see it.

Believe it or not, in his mind he's really saying those things because he truly believes he's helping you. He may say you can't get the job because he wants to avoid the possibility of you getting hurt by getting rejected. Really, he's just being overprotective the way parents protect their children. And just like most parents, his intention is to protect you and help you avoid disappointment. Of course there is something wrong about the way he's doing it, but his intentions are good.

You know his style isn't helping you. I know it too. But he doesn't know that. So how to deal with this?

1) Remove his intentions from the discussion. He's not a jerk, he really means well, he's just not saying the right things. Accept this as a basic principle.

2) Have a calm talk, explaining to him that you understand he means well but what he's says isn't helpful to you. It may be helpful to others, but it isn't to you and it's important that he learn about you and what works and doesn't work for you.

3) Suggest ways he can be helpful to you: by just listening because sometimes you just need to vent; by encouraging you with a "you can do it" attitude because that will lift your confidence; by letting you risk failure because failure can offer great lessons and you're not a little girl, you can handle it; by letting you do things on your own because it'll give you a sense of accomplishment, etc. etc.

Oh, and one last thing. Forget about looking to him for job placement. Given the history, you're better off looking on your own. This will remove a potential source of stress between you two.