Submitted on Friday, March 28, 2008
By laura, 41, from scotland:

Hi..I was seeing my boyfriend for 4 months and everything had been going great. I was in no doubt that he was into me! He would text me all hours of the day and night, tell me he loved being with me, loved kissing me, was dying to see me etc...He lived 50 miles from me and I don't drive, so he would be the one driving to see me. I did offer to get the train down to where he stayed..but the pattern was that he would come to me....anyway..after 4 months I still hadn't been to the area that he lived. I did trust him, but it was starting to concern me a little that he wanted to see where I grew up, but I'd never even been to his home town...He lives with his brother and they don't get on, and from the snippets I got about their house..it sounded like a dump! He had to work late on valentines..and I had a totally insecure moment!..I sent him a couple of text msgs saying that I was major pissed off, felt like he was hiding something, and asked if he was married, etc!..although deep down, i didn't think he was. I've been really hurt before and was trying to save myself going through it again!...since then he basically hasn't contacted me..I've txt him loads of time and apologized till I'm blue in the face..i know what i done was wrong...all he says is that he's not ignoring me, but he really doesn't know what to think or say just now!...I've even asked him does he want things to be finished, but he just says he doesn't know what to say just now...doesn't know what he wants!...I txt him again yesterday..this time i just said that i still wanted to see him sometime, just wanted him to know that!..he txt straight back..this time he seemed more his normal self, and asked if i was ok?...so at least this time he was opening up communication, which i thought was a positive sign that all was not lost!...his aunt had died and he is sorting out the legal stuff as she had no family!..Do you think i've totally blown this relationship?

VictorM's advice:

Hard to say but it's not uncommon for a guy to go quiet while he either sulks or ponders something that happened. Since he's started to reply, sounds like he's getting over the lack of trust.

But, even if your approach was poor, you still should get to know more about the man. He should understand that you need to more about him. Next time just explain that nicely rather than in anger.