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Monday, March 24, 2008
He says I am thinking too much
Submitted on Sunday, March 23, 2008
By coco, 36, from U.S:
I recently started seeing this guy I know for about 5 years. I was in a relationship, but when that ended, this guy and I met up one night and we have been hanging out since Nov. We already went on vacation together and have been pretty close. Since it has been about 4 months, I asked if we were bf/gf. He always says he doesn't know what he wants and he says I am thinking too much. I really don't think I do think too much. I just need to know what we are since it has been 4 months. He does like me and we get along great. If I say to other people that he is not my boyfriend, he says: "oh I thought I was your boyfriend." So, I am getting mixed signal. At this point, I am sick of playing this game, but he is someone I'd love to be with for the rest of my life. What should I do???
VictorM's advice:
There's nothing mixed about his signals -- he clearly isn't ready to commit to you and has said so quite directly. He then jokes about the whole boyfriend thing when you say it to others. Don't get the two messages mixed up; one is serious, the other is a joke. And they both add up to the same thing: he's not ready for a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you.
I recently started seeing this guy I know for about 5 years. I was in a relationship, but when that ended, this guy and I met up one night and we have been hanging out since Nov. We already went on vacation together and have been pretty close. Since it has been about 4 months, I asked if we were bf/gf. He always says he doesn't know what he wants and he says I am thinking too much. I really don't think I do think too much. I just need to know what we are since it has been 4 months. He does like me and we get along great. If I say to other people that he is not my boyfriend, he says: "oh I thought I was your boyfriend." So, I am getting mixed signal. At this point, I am sick of playing this game, but he is someone I'd love to be with for the rest of my life. What should I do???
VictorM's advice:
There's nothing mixed about his signals -- he clearly isn't ready to commit to you and has said so quite directly. He then jokes about the whole boyfriend thing when you say it to others. Don't get the two messages mixed up; one is serious, the other is a joke. And they both add up to the same thing: he's not ready for a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you.
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