By Marina, 17, from NJ:

Ok so this is anonymous again. Victor I hate that you're always right.. And that I keep coming back.

The guy that I met that is perfect.. Well we were "official" for about a week and I already told you the things he says to me and how he makes me feel. 3 days ago he was supposed to come over but instead he texted me saying:

"I can’t do this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I'm not meant to have a girlfriend. I'm so crazy about you and you’re the greatest person I have ever met. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do with myself. It’s just too much right now."

When I asked him what the hell he’s talking about.. he told me he doesn’t know himself. He kept saying he has too much going on over and over, and the next day he told me he is not like any person I will ever meet and that his problems are mainly the fear of his brother being in Iraq. Apparently, they were really close and his brother is in the Marines and is coming back in May. He also kept saying things like "I wish this was a month from now.." (May) and he said maybe we can be together then.

Sitting around contemplating I thought that maybe he's scared because our relationship seems perfect (he told me that himself and I agree) and I think he's scared that if everything is perfect, something might go wrong (like with his brother). But maybe I am just making excuses for myself. He won’t explain anything to me and keeps telling me he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. The day we broke up, we never really said that we “broke up”. He kept saying he’s so sorry and can’t do it, and I kept telling him I don’t understand. He called a mutual friend of ours right away and she told me he was practically in tears over the phone. She also told me that he said “she hates me” in a trembling voice and that he asked her to do one thing, which is to tell me how much he cares about me. The next day in school I didn’t see him like I usually do. I saw him at lunch and when I left to do errands he texted me asking if I was coming back. I came back and he walked me to class. When I pulled him to kiss me, he kissed me on the cheek. The next day we didn’t have school and I went out at night. He texted me 3 different times asking what I am doing and if I am having fun. Then he IMed me this morning trying to talk to me. We both have a myspace and facebook, and he never changed the relationship status. It still says that we are in a relationship. I texted him saying “now I can’t get you out of my head” and he texted me back saying He never could get me out of his head. He said he’s always thinking of me. Our friends told him he will regret it because they see how much he likes me. He tells them he knows. I told him I will always be there for him and I don’t understand what he is doing.

What the hell is wrong with him?

VictorM's advice:

I think you're partly right in that the fear of losing someone he loves might be scaring him away, and maybe the pressure of living up to perfection also scares hims away. But frankly, none of that matters. What matters is that he's not ready for a relationship. That's not at all uncommon, even without the factors you mentioned. Sometimes, the whole idea of being with just one person and trying to do it right is just too much, specially for a 17 year old boy.

But, maybe he felt you were perfect earlier on and doesn't feel that way anymore. Never mind all the words about thinking about you and how great you are and all that... once a guy loses interest in a girl he often does what he's doing because the last thing he wants on earth is to make you feel bad.

I say change your status to "single," tell him that you understand it was too much pressure and that after thinking about it, you're feeling fine about just being friends and if the feelings ever change again, you two will deal with it then. If you remove the pressure you might find that you two can enjoy each other's company in a more relaxed way.

Remember: perfection is grossly overrated. High pedestals can give people nose bleeds.