Submitted on Friday, March 28, 2008
By Kelly, 31, from NC:

I don't know if you know much about someone being chronically shy but I dated this guy whose 37 and has never really been in a serious relationship. I was his longest relationship and that was only a month. The words "I love you" were exchanged but not until he broke if off after a week and then saying he just didn't know what he as thinking but he actually loves me. Our relationship was WONDERFUL!!! We had so much fun together and I fell so hard for him. Unfortunetly something happened and I'm not sure what it was. He was suppose to come over and thought I didn't want him to and I wanted him to come over but thought he didn't want to and it made things weird for us and didn't speak at work for almost two days. Then he tells me that he wants to break up because he's not in love anymore. Why would he tell me this with tears in his eyes??? How could he just fall out of love so fast?? Did he get scared because he's never been in a serious relationship anymore? Why did he ask me what I saw in him? Why can't he see that the way he treated me was why I fell in love with him??? The next day at work, he acted like we've never met. I have to see him everyday and it kills me because I have no clue what happened between us! Please help!!

VictorM's advice:

There is usually no one reason we can point a finger at to explain exactly what made us fall in love with someone, and likewise, often there's no specific reason we can point a finger at when that feeling ends. The best we can do is to recognize it, say it (even if we feel bad about about it), and move on with our lives.

That you work together makes things more complicated, but he's made his decision and seems determined to carry it out.