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Sunday, February 24, 2008
We have talked about dating
Submitted on Friday, February 22, 2008
By Sharon, 31, from New Hampshire:
This guy and I that work together have been hanging out a lot. We have talked about dating but he says he doesn't want to get involved or go down that path in case we aren't friends anymore. Is this his way of just saying he really isn't interested in me or is this like a valid reason?
VictorM's advice:
It's a very valid reason. Consider that for men, the three most traumatic experiences are: loss of a loved one, divorce, and loss of a job. There is a connection between being employed and a man's sense of worth. Guys are generally more fearful of losing their jobs than girls are. That should be a factor when you consider his level of interest in you.
He also has a point about what your relationship at work would be like if you try going out and it fails. More so if there is bad blood after the break-up. This possibility is made more serious by the point I made above.
Of course, you can solve this quickly: get a job at another company (I'm kidding, but not by much). Seriously, are you into this guy enough that you would quit your job for him? If you are, you should discuss it with him and consider doing it (you'd also call his bluff); if you're not, you should understand how he feels.
By Sharon, 31, from New Hampshire:
This guy and I that work together have been hanging out a lot. We have talked about dating but he says he doesn't want to get involved or go down that path in case we aren't friends anymore. Is this his way of just saying he really isn't interested in me or is this like a valid reason?
VictorM's advice:
It's a very valid reason. Consider that for men, the three most traumatic experiences are: loss of a loved one, divorce, and loss of a job. There is a connection between being employed and a man's sense of worth. Guys are generally more fearful of losing their jobs than girls are. That should be a factor when you consider his level of interest in you.
He also has a point about what your relationship at work would be like if you try going out and it fails. More so if there is bad blood after the break-up. This possibility is made more serious by the point I made above.
Of course, you can solve this quickly: get a job at another company (I'm kidding, but not by much). Seriously, are you into this guy enough that you would quit your job for him? If you are, you should discuss it with him and consider doing it (you'd also call his bluff); if you're not, you should understand how he feels.
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