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Thursday, February 28, 2008
Successful and rich
Submitted on Monday, February 25, 2008
By Ada, 35:
Hi Victor,
I am just engaged to a man who was poor when we met but now become very successful and rich. I am supposed to be happy but I feel he starts focusing on his jobs and spending time with friends more than me. If I complain, he will find time for me. But I don't know why I keep thinking he will cheat on me one day since he is not always around me now and his friend always take him to the club to watch show girls. He is a person that doesn't know romance or being tender or loving, is it possible to train him? What is the proper way to communicate with a man like him? He's 45 now and a very strong and manly type of guy. Thanks!
VictorM's advice:
Guys can be trained on many things but this guy is already 45, is not romantic, not tender, not loving, goes to shady clubs, only reacts to your wishes when you complain, and you don't trust him to be faithful... I think you're dreaming if you think he will change after you marry him.
You are engaged to a man who seemingly lacks many of the qualities you like. I say forget about him being trained; you're the one who needs to be trained to avoid an impending disaster and reevaluate marrying a man that will make you unhappy.
By Ada, 35:
Hi Victor,
I am just engaged to a man who was poor when we met but now become very successful and rich. I am supposed to be happy but I feel he starts focusing on his jobs and spending time with friends more than me. If I complain, he will find time for me. But I don't know why I keep thinking he will cheat on me one day since he is not always around me now and his friend always take him to the club to watch show girls. He is a person that doesn't know romance or being tender or loving, is it possible to train him? What is the proper way to communicate with a man like him? He's 45 now and a very strong and manly type of guy. Thanks!
VictorM's advice:
Guys can be trained on many things but this guy is already 45, is not romantic, not tender, not loving, goes to shady clubs, only reacts to your wishes when you complain, and you don't trust him to be faithful... I think you're dreaming if you think he will change after you marry him.
You are engaged to a man who seemingly lacks many of the qualities you like. I say forget about him being trained; you're the one who needs to be trained to avoid an impending disaster and reevaluate marrying a man that will make you unhappy.
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I don't know why I keep thinking he will cheat on me one day...
Because he isn't giving you the emotional support you need in order to feel safe and secure with him. And until he makes you feel like you are in a safe relationship, you'll keep feeling that horrible, nagging anxiety that will only suceed in dragging you down into a pit of despair and longing.
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Because he isn't giving you the emotional support you need in order to feel safe and secure with him. And until he makes you feel like you are in a safe relationship, you'll keep feeling that horrible, nagging anxiety that will only suceed in dragging you down into a pit of despair and longing.
# posted by 
: 1:38 PM
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