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Tuesday, February 19, 2008
A strong connection building up
Submitted on Sunday, February 17, 2008
By Shanon, from Out and about:
I really like this guy who I met through a friend of mine. We started contacting each other through mail and phone calls. He doesn't live close to me so we try to talk at least once a day. The thing is that I feel like there is a strong connection building up. I am starting to really like this guy and feel sincere feelings. I want to know what he likes in a girl or if he likes me or wants to get any relationship going. What do I do? Ask him or just let our convo's keep going. Help! (And anything else that may help this area of conversation)
VictorM's advice:
Don't ask him anything yet.
Of course he likes you; you talk everyday. A guy doesn't do that unless he likes the girl. But guys take longer getting up the ramp of relationships than girls do. So slow down and enjoy the talking.
Long distance relationships are hard to sustain, more so for the guy. That's because guys are more physical then girls. So don't go expecting too much to come out of this.
By Shanon, from Out and about:
I really like this guy who I met through a friend of mine. We started contacting each other through mail and phone calls. He doesn't live close to me so we try to talk at least once a day. The thing is that I feel like there is a strong connection building up. I am starting to really like this guy and feel sincere feelings. I want to know what he likes in a girl or if he likes me or wants to get any relationship going. What do I do? Ask him or just let our convo's keep going. Help! (And anything else that may help this area of conversation)
VictorM's advice:
Don't ask him anything yet.
Of course he likes you; you talk everyday. A guy doesn't do that unless he likes the girl. But guys take longer getting up the ramp of relationships than girls do. So slow down and enjoy the talking.
Long distance relationships are hard to sustain, more so for the guy. That's because guys are more physical then girls. So don't go expecting too much to come out of this.
Comments:
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victor is again right on this. it can be painful waiting, wondering if this cool guy likes you the way do like him. but, giving him time to evaluate his own feelings (guys not usually good at this, takes them some time)will make the wait sweet. Enjoy his company, then take a cold shower after. do things to get your mind off of him until you talk again! Also, leave your options open as far as other guys go. If he comes around, great! If he does not, then you will not have isolated yourself from the world waiting on this guy.
# posted by 
: 12:16 PM
: 12:16 PM
This follow-up comment was submitted by Shannon:
Hey, it's me again. So, we are still doing well on our convos to the point that we sometimes talk for about 2 hours. Sometimes though, we don't have much to talk about so there are some long pauses on the phone yet we both want to stay on the phone longer and he even said so. Any recomendations of what to do to keep the convos going until we really gotta go?
Here is another thing that I left out from my last letter. He is going to be going away for about 2 months to do something and we both agreed that we would keep in contact through letters because he won't be able to talk on the phone. When we are on the phone, he talks about what we are gonna do when he comes back and sometimes I wonder how things will be in 2 months. Should I wait till maybe he does ask me out when we write? I also wonder although I really like him and I would probably wait but if it is gonna take this long, is it worth it?
Hey, it's me again. So, we are still doing well on our convos to the point that we sometimes talk for about 2 hours. Sometimes though, we don't have much to talk about so there are some long pauses on the phone yet we both want to stay on the phone longer and he even said so. Any recomendations of what to do to keep the convos going until we really gotta go?
Here is another thing that I left out from my last letter. He is going to be going away for about 2 months to do something and we both agreed that we would keep in contact through letters because he won't be able to talk on the phone. When we are on the phone, he talks about what we are gonna do when he comes back and sometimes I wonder how things will be in 2 months. Should I wait till maybe he does ask me out when we write? I also wonder although I really like him and I would probably wait but if it is gonna take this long, is it worth it?
Two months is nothing in guy-time. Yes, wait till he comes back.
As for the phone, yeah, silent periods can be awkward. Sometimes leaving the call when you'd still want to stay on longer is not a bad idea. It builds desire for the next time and it's better to leave wanting to stay than after being saturated.
It's hard to say what else you can talk about because I don't know what your interests are, but I'll give you an example. Lots of women's magazines have those silly quizzes. If you're into those, asking him to respond to them can keep the conversation going because often you'll be surprised by an answer and that in itself can be a long conversation. And if neither of you takes them seriously, they can be a source of laughter and amusement.
Anyone else with the gift of gab care to give Shannon some more ideas?
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As for the phone, yeah, silent periods can be awkward. Sometimes leaving the call when you'd still want to stay on longer is not a bad idea. It builds desire for the next time and it's better to leave wanting to stay than after being saturated.
It's hard to say what else you can talk about because I don't know what your interests are, but I'll give you an example. Lots of women's magazines have those silly quizzes. If you're into those, asking him to respond to them can keep the conversation going because often you'll be surprised by an answer and that in itself can be a long conversation. And if neither of you takes them seriously, they can be a source of laughter and amusement.
Anyone else with the gift of gab care to give Shannon some more ideas?
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