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Thursday, February 28, 2008
I want her to be my girlfriend
Submitted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008
By Ahmed, 30, from turkey:
hi. i realized that this is a place for girls to ask questions but as i'm really confused and under pressure i have decided to give it a try maybe you could give me an advise for my problem. i will really appreciate. and i apologize for my bad english grammer .
here is my problem:
there is a girl whom i know for about 1 year. we became closer from 3 months a go. at first we were just friends and we decide to continue like good friends but after a while i found that I want her to be my girlfriend. i started to show her what i want and i tried to tell her directly that i like her. but the problem is that her behaviour is very strange and paradox. one day she is nice and seems that she wants to be my girlfriend too, and another day she says that you should not come closer to me we are just friends. when i ask her to go out with friends she accepts but after that she complains that "why do your friends think that we are girlfriend and boyfriend?" (what else they would think?) she acts like she wants this relationship. she comes over my house, meet my family ...but when we want to talk about our relationship she said that "i don't want a new relationship. i like my memories of my ex boyfriend and i want to keep them." i'm now so confused and don't know what to do. if she wants me so why does she sometimes ask to decline or decrease the relationship? and if she doesn't want me, why she doesn't leave the relationship? i don't know if i should give her more time? or talk to her again? there is no misty thing in my behaviour it's obvious that i like her but some times i'm inevitable to act the way she wants. i'm not happy. i don't have peace and i really have to decide soon. i will appreciate if you guide me what to do.
thank you.
Ahmed.30.from turkey.
VictorM's advice:
You have only been seeing her for a few months and she's still trying to get over her ex-boyfriend. She enjoys your company but is not ready for a relationship. You really need to give her more time and treat her purely as a friend for a while. There's a chance she's trying to get to know you better before she commits to avoid the mistake she made before with the other guy. You may be paying for the "crimes" of the previous guy. It may sound unfair to you, but that's how life is.
I'm going to ask other female visitors to please chime in using the VISITOR COMMENTS below to give Ahmed your opinions and suggestions. Thanks
hi. i realized that this is a place for girls to ask questions but as i'm really confused and under pressure i have decided to give it a try maybe you could give me an advise for my problem. i will really appreciate. and i apologize for my bad english grammer .
here is my problem:
there is a girl whom i know for about 1 year. we became closer from 3 months a go. at first we were just friends and we decide to continue like good friends but after a while i found that I want her to be my girlfriend. i started to show her what i want and i tried to tell her directly that i like her. but the problem is that her behaviour is very strange and paradox. one day she is nice and seems that she wants to be my girlfriend too, and another day she says that you should not come closer to me we are just friends. when i ask her to go out with friends she accepts but after that she complains that "why do your friends think that we are girlfriend and boyfriend?" (what else they would think?) she acts like she wants this relationship. she comes over my house, meet my family ...but when we want to talk about our relationship she said that "i don't want a new relationship. i like my memories of my ex boyfriend and i want to keep them." i'm now so confused and don't know what to do. if she wants me so why does she sometimes ask to decline or decrease the relationship? and if she doesn't want me, why she doesn't leave the relationship? i don't know if i should give her more time? or talk to her again? there is no misty thing in my behaviour it's obvious that i like her but some times i'm inevitable to act the way she wants. i'm not happy. i don't have peace and i really have to decide soon. i will appreciate if you guide me what to do.
thank you.
Ahmed.30.from turkey.
VictorM's advice:
You have only been seeing her for a few months and she's still trying to get over her ex-boyfriend. She enjoys your company but is not ready for a relationship. You really need to give her more time and treat her purely as a friend for a while. There's a chance she's trying to get to know you better before she commits to avoid the mistake she made before with the other guy. You may be paying for the "crimes" of the previous guy. It may sound unfair to you, but that's how life is.
I'm going to ask other female visitors to please chime in using the VISITOR COMMENTS below to give Ahmed your opinions and suggestions. Thanks
Comments:
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She likes you as a friend, but at this time does not view you in a romantic way. It may be she just doesn't feel the chemistry or it may be that it is just too soon after her break up with the last guy. Or the timing of things in general may just not be right for her. I hate to say it, but when I like a guy as more than friends, it makes me happy to hear others look at us as together...recently while out with the guy i like as more than friends....HIS friends kept calling me his date and I LOVED it. I think the same would be true with the girl you write about...so if she is upset that she is being perceived as your girlfriend...i hate to break it to you, but she is most likely just not that into you as more than friends...but dont take my word for it because I dont know enough about the situation to accurately make that call....good luck with everything...
# posted by 
: 1:23 AM
: 1:23 AM
I think that she is not into you. I would be nice to her, always a gentleman. But, I would not always be available to her. she may come around and start to have romantic feelings for you, but don't count on it. I think that you two could be incredible friends, but nothing more.
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
Yes, I agree. Make yourself a little more UNavailable to her. Give her time to start thinking about you. Missing you, even.
Treat her nicely and smile, and ... relax.
Treat her nicely and smile, and ... relax.
# posted by : 1:35 PM
: 1:35 PM
give her more time. maybe she needs to figure out and find her self in this relationship.maybe there is another guy in her life, or simply she does not feel the way you feel.maybe every thing just happened so sudden to her that she cant manage it all.be a good friend to her.give her time and be patient.you will find out every thing through the time.good luck.
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# posted by : 4:09 PM
: 4:09 PM You are not on Ask A Real Guy's Home Page.
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