By Monica, from Ohio:

I have this guy friend I am really close to. We hang out one on one about 2 or 3 times a month, but usually I am the one to suggest going out. He has only been busy once or twice in the 7 months that we have been hanging out. The problem is I feel really easily rejected and because I like him as more than a friend I overanalyze everything he does. Like a few times this week, I logged onto Instant Message and when I did, he either logged off or switched his status to idle. (Each happened once this week) And he doesn't respond to my text messages unless he has to which pisses me off. And when this type of thing happens, I get insecure and show it which I end up regretting later. Like today he sent me a short message on IM while I was logged OFF asking how a concert had gone last night. I responded and he didnt say anything so either he wasnt at his computer at the moment or he was ignoring me. About an hour later he logged off without saying anything to me even though, I was still logged on. I sent him a message on facebook saying "Do you think I don't notice that lately whenever I get on IM you either log off or switch to idle? I DO notice and I think that it's rude." Then I feel like a bitch later for doing it because maybe he was just busy or something. He even texted me back saying "Noo, listen. my connection sucks. When i get an IM or someone signs on I get booted. And i was at the gym when you called. U imagine 2 much!" And then i feel stupid because I KNOW he's right and that I overreacted. Plus just yesterday he had contacted me twice on facebook and stuff..so it's not like he's been ignoring me at all. How can a girl be friends with a guy if she has feelings for him? Is it worth it? Because even though we have the best time when we hang out, it makes me insecure that he doesn't feel the same way and then I get all jealous and crazy and emotional. And then I feel nuts but studies have even shown that when you are in love or lust or even just infatuation... your reasoning skills are actually impaired so it's not ENTIRELY my fault. I read that in a magazine. Haha. I feel like I'm obsessed and I hate that but I really am not sure as to how to control it.

VictorM's advice:

The key question: "How can a girl be friends with a guy if she has feelings for him?" It's not easy, specially if she knows the guy has no romantic interest in her. The thing is that often love does sparks between two people who are just friends, so all is not lost. But if you keep acting like the pain in the ass you sound to be, you're not going to make him warm up to you. "Overreacting" isn't exactly a quality that most guys find endearing.

Controlling your behavior is not easy and I have no magic words to help you change it. But we don't need a study to know that if a kid pokes himself in the eye with a pencil, you take pencils away from him. So... cut down your contact with him. That's not to say you should stop talking to him or even stop being his friend, but spend more time with other friends and less time on facebook, for example. Avoid situations that cause you to act like the kind of annoying wife that you're going to turn out to be. :-p