Submitted by on Monday, January 21, 2008
By Larissa, 16, from New York:

I've been with this guy for a few months; we aren't an official couple but we do stuff couples do (ie hugs&kisses) and I'm fine with keeping it unofficial for parental reasons but his past makes me nervous. He's known to be a player but has said he wouldn't "cheat" on me. He's pretty flirty and talkative when in person but almost never txts/calls me. Maybe I'm just used to pushovers but it seems like his never complimenting me or telling me how he likes me is a little off ... maybe I'm getting too far ahead of myself and should slow down since it's "unofficial". Still, it all makes me nervous and I do like this guy a lot. =/

VictorM's advice:

Some guys don't like the phone or texting, and some guys just aren't attentive with the girl in terms of compliments and such. You're falling into the typical female habit of making up excuses or expecting things to change instead of dealing the personality of a guy as you see it just because you like some thing about him.

His attitude has nothing to do with you two being official or not. If during the early part of getting to know you he doesn't do those things, chances are he will never do them. That doesn't make him a bad guy, but you glossing over these things about him by making excuses won't make things better later on.