I have a unique situation, which I cannot speak to anyone else about. I have hopes that you would be able to help me, seeing that you do give excellent advice. You see, I am in love with a dear friend of mine and have been for 5 years. He doesn’t know, and I am debating whether or not I should make it known. BUT(!) there is a catch—a couple of catches, actually: 1.) He is married and has a son; and 2.) I honestly and truly don’t expect anything of him if I do tell him. I mean, from what I have seen, he is very happy with his wife and kid, so I can’t (and don’t!) expect him to leave them no matter what I feel for him. I don’t want to feel responsible for breaking up their relationship, as I have immense respect for him and his wife! At the same time, however, am I not allowed to be true to myself? Can’t I tell him that my feelings for him run deeper than friendship with the premise being that I’m doing this for my sake? I only want to reveal these feelings because this secret has been weighing heavily on my heart and mind for years, and I want this weight to be shifted. In short, should I spill the beans, or keep them bottled up and continue to agonize? And if I do spill the beans, what’s to become of our friendship even after I explain that I’m only revealing such thoughts to free my heart and mind? What should I do?

Gem

VictorM's advice:

DO NOT TELL HIM A THING!

OK, is that clear enough?

You ask: "am I not allowed to be true to myself?" Sure you are. The question is: what kind of person are you? Are you selfish and indifferent or considerate and loving? Accepting and respecting that he's happily married carries with it greater sense of truth than spilling the beans.
This secret is weighting heavily on your heart and that's where it should remain. He's not responsible for your feelings and you should not make it his burden. Doing so would not be a sign of love; it would be pure selfishness.

What do you expect will happen if you tell him? You really think it will help you? I really don't see how. For sure you will ruin the friendship with him and his wife. Do you expect him to hear this from you and not tell his wife?

He is totally off limits unless his marriage breaks down. You'd be wise to avoid him and start focusing on finding someone else. If you think he's the only guy you're capable of falling in love with you'd be wrong. You're just investing too much emotional energy on a losing cause instead of redirecting that energy to finding your own happiness.