Submitted on Friday, December 21, 2007
By sara, 28, from uk:

thought i'd update you on my saga!! well....nothing really happened since i told him that i liked him and he said he liked me too etc. we were still hooking up (bad i know...)anyway....i had sent him a message on facebook saying i thought we should go out one night etc....he replied the following day to say he didn't have the energy to reply to that last night....but that yeah maybe we could go out one night. so i didn't reply to that....thought it was a bit rude really to say he didn't have the energy to reply to 'that'. seeing as he'd been online most of that night anyway. so cut a long story short....i decided that he clearly wasn't interested in anything more with me....so i put myself back up on a dating site i'd been on a few years back. not knowing that he was also on this bloody site. it takes 48 hours for the photos to be approved.....but you can still see what you've written on your profile etc. well guess who hotlisted me and added me as a friend?? he couldn't see that it was me...cos he couldn't see the photos. so i left it as it was...and then he came back to visit my profile when my pics were up....visited 5 times in one day. he's not mentioned it to me at all. last night i went over to his.....and we had a laugh etc. when i left this morning i text him to say look i like you too much to continue like we are and so this whole thing needs to stop. he replied saying am i being dumped haha? you know i don't do feelings for anyone. so i replied saying...thats just a cop out but there we go! yeah best we stop all of this. i deserve better and as you don't like me in the same way lets call it a day. he replied with yeah ok i understand! so i replied to just say...thats ok hun...i don't play games so just being honest with you. hope you got your mam something nice for her birthday (he was going shopping with her today). had no reply to that at all.

in the meantime...whilst i was driving over to his last night....he messaged my friend on facebook to say that he really liked her and would like to take her out for a drink. i mean what the HELL??????

so clearly this guy is just a player right?? last night he kept asking me if i'd been with anyone else recently....he told me he'd had sex with someone last saturday....so...seeing as he was being open etc i said that yeah i'd snogged someone on a night out a few weeks back (which was the truth). i know i probably shouldn't have said anything....but he's been treating this as a fuck buddy thing and as he'd told me that he had had sex with someone i thought it was fine to be honest back to him. anyway....after i'd told him this...he told me he'd been lying about sleeping with someone last sat. (that sat he had called me and asked me over anyway...) so i fell for that one hook line and sinker.

he's just a player right?? i'm trying so hard not to play games with him but he's so confusing its unbelievable. this friend he's messaged isn't the only girl he's asked out for a drink this week. its since i've been on this dating site that he's been asking all sorts out. this morning when i was over at his....he said hang around if you want you can meet my mother if you like....what the hell??!!?!?!

i've decided to do no contact with him and just get over him cos to me its all bullshit. i know you're probably going to tell me off for telling him about the guy i snogged....but then he'd told me about sleeping with someone....so i thought it was ok. stupid of me i know...and oi deeply regret saying anything now. he said to me...most guys would go mad about something like that....he said..but i'm secure enough to not be angry. i said but we're not even together hun...so we're both free agents aren't we?? like you sleeping with someone on sat...and thats when he said oh i was just lying about that.

i don't get him.....i really don't understand what the hell is going on with him....my gut is telling me that he likes me....but then my head is telling me i'm just being played. he's just so childish....so please tell me what the hell he's playing at here???? and whats the best thing for me to do?? thank you so much....i'm really quite gutted that he's being like this. i know that i'm the only girl he's been with in the last 3 months....and i know i've been handing it to him on a plate....which was fine for me for a while until i started to like him. if he's still punishing me for stuff then surely he should get over it by now??

god i feel like such a loser....and like i fall for his games all the time.

VictorM's advice:

You're not being played because he has been direct with you. Only your wishful thinking is keeping things confusing to you; if not for that, you'd see clearly that he likes you as an occasional lay, but he has no romantic feelings for you. Frankly, I don't know how much more clear he can make it to you. Earlier I thought he might have been punishing you before he gave you another try, but now, I think he's just enjoying punishing you. Period.

Who you slept with is none of his business and such confessions aren't going to bring the guy you like any closer to you. If nothing else, this confessions means you're still having too much contact with him. You said you decided to have no contact with him. I hope you follow through.