Submitted on Wednesday, December 26, 2007
By Shandra, 26, from Texas:

I want to find out why this one guy broke up with me. He asked me out and made an effort to get to know me but continually said throughout the relationship that he wasn't ready at this point in his life to make a serious committment. At the time he was exclusively with me, but he wasn't ready for anything serious. He broke it off, but then really tried to pursue a friendship after and would get jealous when I was with other guys. Was it all just me or part of his committment issues? Because 3 years later he had a serious girlfriend.

VictorM's advice:

He simply was never totally into you, hence his reluctance to commit.

Getting jealous of other guys is a reflection of the type of person he is, not of the kind of person you are or what you mean to him.

I don't see any mystery here. The reason he broke off with you is clear: you were never "it" for him. Eventually he moved on searching for someone he could be serious with.

If you're bothered by not being "it" for him, consider that there are over 3 billion men on the planet. You're not "it" for the vast majority of them (aren't you lucky!?). On the other hand, how many of them are "it" for you? Not very many. That's just the way life is. There is no list of pros and cons, no magic, no "not good enough"; it's all a crap shoot.

In this case, you won. Yes, you won. A guy that choses to just be friends with you and gets jealous of other guys has "possessive asshole" written all over him even if you couldn't detect it.
So get off your butt and stop feeling sorry for yourself because you're one lucky girl.