Submittedon Monday, December 31, 2007
By May, 28, from Egypt:

Hi,

How can I make my boyfriend think about marrying me? I really like him but I don't know how to make him think about marriage. Please help.

VictorM's advice:

Have you tried the traditional methods, like feigning pregnancy? Actually getting pregnant? Putting a gun to his head? Threatening to have your 7 brothers beat the living daylights out of him? Paying him?

I kid.

I don't know of a way to make him want to marry. Marriage is hard enough that it's something that two people (or more depending on the country or state) should enter into totally voluntarily and only when they feel ready.

The best you can do is ascertain what reasons he has and work on each of his objections one by one. Be aware that often people don't mention the real reason right away, so you have to keep digging. One technique for doing that goes like this:

You: So, what's you apprehension about marriage?
Him: We don't have enough money.
You: OK... so if money was no object, would you be ready to marry me?
There's a chance he'd bluff and say yes, but most likely, he'll come back with another reason instead.
Him: Well, no, I don't feel I know you well enough.
You: So when you feel you know me well enough you will be ready to marry me?
Him: Well... also, I'm not sure where we should live.
You: So, when we figure out where to live you'll be ready to marry me?
Him. No, not really... see, I really hate your family with a passion... I can't stomach your uncle and his affairs with the goats, I hate how your brother is always touching your boobs, your father tried to screw me in the ass, and you.... you... you drool when you're watching a movie and your farts are the absolute worst, and why oh why do you insist on wearing camel dung as makeup?

See? Now you have something to work with.