For one thing you say I am untrusting... Haha...I wouldn't say I am untrusting, rather I am unsure of whether the other girls are friends or more than that to "joe." (let's just call him that). Doesn't make me untrusting, just means I simply do not know as I have not blatantly asked him and so I thought I'd get your take. For another thing...You say that my jealousy will turn him off to me. However, "Joe" is equally as jealous of other GUYS in MY life. He has in fact made NEARLY IDENTICAL inquiries/questions/remarks about male friends of MINE. Such as when they write on my facebook wall, come up in conversation, when I get photographed with one of them, etc. In fact...the entire joke behind me calling the text girl his "booty call" was an inside joke that we share...because there is this one guy friend I have that "Joe" always says is MY BOOTY CALL guy. What I failed to mention in my previous post is that "joe" and I constantly tease each other about the other's friends of the opposite sex. And we BOTH get a little jealous. This is probably the entire reason we DO tease each other in such a manner...we are getting the scoop on these people in an attempt to see if its competition or not. But it is not JUST ME being a little jealous and asking him about it, like I said...he does so too to me. So to imply I'm being overly paranoid about the attention he receives from other girls is unfair since he bahaves in exactly the same way about the guys in MY LIFE. He has many a time grabbed MY cell phone to check out MY text messages and to see who has been calling ME.

You said his response to me about the text girl implied he didn't care what I thought about it, but I beg to differ there. For one thing when I asked him who the girl that texted him was he did not just respond "Whatever" like you said he did. He was amused and laughed at me calling her a booty call because obviously she is NOT that to him, ( I know that NOW, not at the time) and he playfully said "Ok, whatever you say!" with a sly little grin on his face like he was trying to get a little bit of a rise out of me. It was almost like he was agreeing with me because he wanted to see me respond jealously...but I could tell he saw that I knew better...which is why I brought it up in a teasing way, not seriously. Also after saying "Whatever you say!" He was like "Nah, she's just this girl I know." To me, that felt like he was assuring me that she wasn't anyone to worry about.(going from playful and joking to now serious...implying his first comment was not true...she's not really a booty call) And In the other post, I didn't mention that he also said after that, "Hey I'm here with YOU, aren't I? You don't see me running over to her now, do you?" So I DO think he was concerned about what I thought.

Further more, I NEVER said that "joe" was responsible for the text girls actions when she texted him. I was just telling you about something that had happened as it happened...in case it might be of some importance. You're supposed to be the expert here, but how can you properly assess the situation if it is not described completely accurately?? That is the reason I brought it up. But I never blamed "joe" for anything.

You also imply that a lack of a kiss after 3 months means that "Joe" is not interested in me...This COULD be true, but I am not entirely convinced...Although we have been dating 3 months, we have only had 6 dates, which makes us still relatively new to each other. Plus...we both still live at home with our parents right now...and so it's not like a make-out session is realistically the easiest thing to arrange at this point. (With our parents upstairs...how comfortable! Yeah right!) We are also both known for being VERY SHY and I can say with certainty that neither of us would be comfortable with public displays of affection. Even more so, "Joe" is coming out of a relatively new break up from a pretty long relationship. I think that's significant and very important to consider. I sense that he is being cautious about re-entering the dating world. He is also at a kind of unstable point in his life right now for a variety of reasons including his place, job, school, etc. And ok...even if we are just friends for now, I think there is mutual interest and attraction towards each other. To say that anything will happen with it at this point...probably not yet...but I still think we could stand a chance at romance eventually...I don't think it would happen immediately, but it could still be possible for sometime in the near future. Who knows? Don't some of the best relationships stem from great friendships??? I haven't completely lost hope. I think we still need to get to know each other and test the waters with others a bit first...but like I said...it has gotten a little more personal..such as him spending time at my place quite late whilst hanging out on the couch together.

FYI...I do of course realize it would be wayyyyy premeditated to ask "where are we headed?" right now!!! We are so new to each other!!! And we haven't become intimate!!! I was only speaking hypothetically in response to a comment you made to someone else (kalissa) in a recent post. I was speaking hypothetically as I envisioned things in the FUTURE, not now. Of course, at some point I do feel that a person has the right to know if the person they are dating is also dating other people.... But, nooooooo....I would not ask yet however.

I have been asked out by another guy yesterday...and am considering accepting and seeing how that goes. You said that was a good idea, yes? I suppose you are right...That doesn't send mixed signals though? I guess not if you have suggested it. I would just hate to imply to "joe" that I am not into him which is why I am suddenly seeing other people...but you seem to think seeing others is a good idea. Maybe i will accept and just see what happens.

Well anyways...I am curious to see how it all plays out from here and also to hearing your response to mine.

VictorM's advice:

Wow... I struck a nerve, didn't I? I'm glad you took the time to write and vent about it.

You misunderstood what I said. You are confusing "jealousy" with "mistrust". They are not the same thing. Being jealous is not a good thing, but we all exhibit some form of it from time to time. What I believe is the most serious threat to a relationship is "lack of trust". And that's what I said you need to watch out for.

I should explain the difference between the two, as I see it. For example, picking up the phone to see who has been calling you is lack of trust. You simply don't believe the other person will tell you the truth. Jealousy, on the other hand, is a spur-of-the-moment feeling TRIGGERED by something (an ex coming into the picture, a text message that looks suspicious, a girl at the bar giving him the eyes, etc.). Jealousy has a specific trigger, that is, something happens that you can point to. Lack of trust, on the other hand, doesn't require that event, it indeed LOOKS to create those events even when there's no specific evidence. If you think he's going to the bar to pick-up girls, that's a lack of trust; if you're at a bar with him and you think an attractive girl has caught his attention, that's jealousy. Both are bad, but jealousy is more targeted while mistrust knows no boundaries. Another example is your guy is with a bunch of male friends. You may feel no jealousy, but you still think they're up to no good (lack of trust).

You say that you are not "untrusting," but let's take a look at what you said in your initial submission:

• "he says he isn't either...I'm not sure if that's true though" - He told you he isn't seeing anyone else, but you don't believe him. That's lack of trust.
• he was like "She's just this girl I know...I hardly ever talk to her." Oh puh-leeze! This girl he hardly ever talks to is texting him at 1 in the morning??? The "Oh puh-leeze!" and the three questions marks gave me the distinct impression that you don't believe him. That's lack of trust.
  

You said: "So to imply I'm being overly paranoid about the attention he receives from other girls..." Excuse me? "Overly paranoid"? I didn't make any comment that even remotely implies that. Your concern about other girls hardly makes you paranoid, and I never said that, but by the same token don't make too much light of your trust issue. Oh sure, you can discount it as "joking" but come on, if you become a couple the "joking" is more likely to evolve into something unhealthy and problematic. Grabbing each other's phones to see who's calling may sound to you like it means he's interested in you, but think again; this kind of behavior leads to hellish relationships. And that he's equally jealous (your word) with you doesn't make things better; in fact, it makes it worse.

The "Whatever..." was a direct quote from your first submission. The "..." simply means I wasn't going to post the whole quote again, but that start was a direct quote from you. Your further explanation on this submission puts a different light on the topic. Sounds like it was more casual than it came across in your original question.

As for not kissing... I can understand the situation but, you're in your mid 20's... 6 dates over 3 months... and not even a kiss? Sounds a bit odd to me. Does it mean he's not interested? No, it doesn't have to mean that at all. It is possible that he thinks that a kiss means that you're boyfriend/girlfriend, and he's not ready for that yet. He's willing to go very slow, which is not a bad thing. I agree that the best relationships evolve from friendship, so rushing is not necessary. But still... not even a peck on the lips? Odd!

About dating other guys... let's take a step back. Based on your first submission I was left with the impression that he's not interested in a relationship with you, not yet anyway. After your follow-up, there are hints that he could have an interest. So your decision to date other guys has to be weighted against what you think could be his response to it. A date is not a serious thing, but is that what he will think? I don't know. But as you said, how long do you wait around for one guy before there's commitment? Don't go out and date other guys based on my advice; it's something that you have to weight the pros and cons of and decide on your own.

Rereading my first answer I see that me quoting your "Oh puh-leeze!" at the end sounds sarcastic and maybe that's what you meant by my "mocking tone". Attempts at humor often come out wrong in text. I apologize if this is what happened.

You called me an expert. I must point out that, as my disclaimer says, I'm not a professional. Ultimately, you can't decide what to do based solely on what some guy on the internet says. Of course I mean well with my advice but I don't have all the facts and I don't have to live with the consequences of your decision, only you do.

One final note... I do advise you to reconsider all the "joking" about jealousy and the signs of mistrust. If I'm making a bigger issue of it than it really is, fine, but if I'm even close, it is something you should try to work out.