Submitted on Thursday, December 27, 2007
By Nathalie, 30, from New York:

Update from he wants to have brunch. I am following up about the guy I wrote about earlier.

So I am currently abroad and landed on saturday night. We have talked/seen each other/or been in touch each day since then. When I arrived, I had already received a text message from him telling me his local cell number and also that I should call him when I got in. So I did and we chatted a little but it was late. He was heading out with his cousins.

So the next day we talked and he ended up busy (running around helping his cousin with a xmas concert) till too late for me so I went to sleep do to jet lag. It turns he lives near the hotel my family is staying at and called to see if he might stop by for lunch, but we were out (my family has a jampacked schedule during this trip at least during the days).

We first hung out on Xmas eve and met up with some people (mostly friends of his some from NY and others from high school). We ended up going to two places and the last was a nightclub where we stayed till 4am. The other people left about an hour before but we were having fun dancing. During this he was much more touchy with me. When I saw him sitting during a break, he wanted me to come sit next to him and our knees legs were touching and his hands were around me. On the way out of the club he held my hand as we left and walked to the car. When he dropped me off, I hugged (which is our usual). Btw I am finishing off a virus and so I dont want to spread anything too.

Since then we exchanged xmas texts on xmas and then hung out last night again till late. Since he lives near me it works well and he has been my social planner in a way and he knows what is going on and picks me up and drops me off. He is very considerate. But last night he wasn't as touchy (and I am not one to be flirty first). We didn't go to places with dancing but more lounging and I met his cousin. But strangely, in the car on the way he mentioned one of his friends I met the previous time asked about me. I didn't respond at all. I didn't really know why he was telling me and the best way to respond. So that left some silence and he didn't say anything about it again.

The last part threw me off and I haven't yet asked about the girlfriend issue because nobody else mentions it. But also I heard one of his friend's wives joking earlier on the first night we were out that she may have some friends to introduce him to. He's here through Jan 4th and me through Jan 6th and he is also my social network here and drives me to and from. So I'm taking path of least resistance. I will bring it up (about girlfriend) if he tries to kiss me or gets really touchy again.

What do you think about this story/his interest etc.? What approach do you recommend (I'm so not a flirt unless I am tipsy either and generally wait on the guy first, so I am often told I am hard to read)?

VictorM's advice:

You still didn't ask about his girlfriend? Rats! I'm biting my nails! :)

Nothing that he's done so far suggest anything more than just friends. The touchy stuff at a club, when drinks are involved, is natural and not at all an indication of any special interest. But, part of it could be that you're hard to read and he's thinking you just want a tour guide. If this is so, it plays in your favor to be aloof because if he's interested in you he's enjoying the slow progress. If he's not interested, well, you're still getting a good guide.

The question about one his friends asking about you was most likely designed to see what your attitude about having a male interest is. Since you don't seem to be giving any signs, he doesn't know where you stand. He's probably as curious about your intentions as you are about his.

I'd say continue as you are. You have caught his interest, he enjoys your company, and you're spending time together. And for now, that's all you should be focused on. He's getting to know you better without the pressures of a relationship and only good things could come from that.