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Sunday, December 30, 2007
He wants to continue having separate vacations
Submitted on Saturday, December 29, 2007
By Lynn, 40, from Texas:
Should I marry a man if he wants to continue having separate vacations and holidays with his teenage children after we are married (without me and my children)? He is widowed, not divorced.
VictorM's advice:
Without a doubt and any hesitation -- YES!
Him and his children had a life before you came along. They are already teenagers, not little ones that can be incorporated into your new family. They have memories of their own of a family crushed by tragedy. His willingness to honor and respect those memories and want to stay connected to them this way speaks volumes about his commitment to loved ones and to the memory of his previous life.
A man that committed to his past and to his children is more likely than most to give you the same kind of commitment and respect. Besides, he'll be with them but a handful of days a year; the rest of the time he'll be forming new memories with you and your children.
Not only should you appreciate him for wanting to be with his children alone for a few days, you should encourage him to do it and receive him with open arms when he returns.
But if the above reasons make no sense to you, don't marry him; he deserves better.
By Lynn, 40, from Texas:
Should I marry a man if he wants to continue having separate vacations and holidays with his teenage children after we are married (without me and my children)? He is widowed, not divorced.
VictorM's advice:
Without a doubt and any hesitation -- YES!
Him and his children had a life before you came along. They are already teenagers, not little ones that can be incorporated into your new family. They have memories of their own of a family crushed by tragedy. His willingness to honor and respect those memories and want to stay connected to them this way speaks volumes about his commitment to loved ones and to the memory of his previous life.
A man that committed to his past and to his children is more likely than most to give you the same kind of commitment and respect. Besides, he'll be with them but a handful of days a year; the rest of the time he'll be forming new memories with you and your children.
Not only should you appreciate him for wanting to be with his children alone for a few days, you should encourage him to do it and receive him with open arms when he returns.
But if the above reasons make no sense to you, don't marry him; he deserves better.
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