By sara, 28, from uk:

Here i am again!! well i sent him a message on facebook on sunday after spending sat night with him. he invitied me to a house party with all his friends and introduced me to them etc. when i was in the taxi going to this house party one of his friends came on the phone and was chatting to me...he asked me if i was G's girlfriend....i said well you better ask G that....i overheard him saying that technically she's not my GF but she may as well be. so on sunday i sent him a message on facebook suggesting that we get together one night and do something.....he took until the next night to reply to me....totally ignored my suggestion of doing something together and just said that he was sorry he hadn't replied sooner but didn't have the energy (after partying the night before)....and then went on about sex. didn't mention us going out etc.

so what do i do now? i was going to message back saying look i think we want different things cos i'd like to spend time with you doing things and getting to know you and see where it leads....but then another part of me thinks that i should just ignore him....detach....and get on with my life. i know men are slower than us women to get into a relationship or to start dating someone (esp in this situation cos we started off as f-buddy's).....but i've told him i like him....suggested a date....and i've told him no more sex. he's told me he likes me....but has given me the whole 'i'm too scared' line etc....and is just carrying on as normal with me and not making any effort. right now i'm getting bored with it all.....and i'm totally undecided as to what to do next. personally i think he's just playing a game cos surely if he wanted something more he'd jump at the chance of spending time with me to get to know me better?

sorry to be such a pain but i'm so confused. he doesn't act like a typical player, but then he doesn't act like someone who's that interested in pursuing more with me either! thank you for all your advice so far....xxxx

VictorM's advice:

"personally i think he's just playing a game cos surely if he wanted something more he'd jump at the chance of spending time with me to get to know me better?" BINGO!

I'm not sure it's a game as much as it is going deliberately slow because he still gets to enjoy your company without any obligations.

Make yourself scarce. Find other interests, date other guys. Will he chase you? Time will tell.