By Carol, 30, from London:

I recently moved to London to be closer to my extended family. I met a friend of my uncle who is 38. He is a really kind guy. He helped me find an apartment and looks out for me. He has made it obvious to me that he likes me and I really like him too. I asked him if he wanted to try out and see what happens. I made it clear I'm not interested in getting played and have assured him I won't be playing him. For the first time in ages I actually want to be in a long term relationship.

It's a sensitive issue because he's a family friend. I've known him for three months now and I think I want to take the relationship to the next stage. I have a different view of relationships in that sleeping with someone for me means that I am in a relationship with them. Unless it's been made clear that it's just for fun. I know that he wants the relationship to be serious because of the fact he's a family friend and it would be foolish to have a casual fling with me. He also asked me why I want to be with him. The thing is he's set up two dates and pulled out of each of them. Funnily enough he's more than happy to come round and sleep with me. Maybe he just wants sex. The funny thing is though that my attitude is very relaxed and guys always end up falling for me because I'm attractive and have a very easy come easy go attitude to sex and relationships. Whatever happens over the next few days I know that over time he will fall deeper and deeper for me and I'm more than happy for that to happen.

My question is why do I feel so frightened at the prospect of taking it further. I haven't had a serious relationship for years. I'm excited, scared and don't know what to expect. I guess I should just enjoy the feeling right? It would be good to get a guys perspective on this. Thanks.

P.S. Some of your response made me LOL :)

VictorM's advice:

You are scared because obviously you are a normal, intelligent woman who pays attention to the world around her. In a day and age of some many divorces and temptations, being committed to a relationship is hard work and fraught with possible missteps that could lead to much heartache. Really, only idiots go into a relationship thinking it's going to be all perfect and wonderful. You are scared because you're not an idiot.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." What could be more important than love? (Well, other than midfield seats at an Arsenal match). And so you march on despite your fears because you are also a courageous woman who knows that not trying is a worse fate. So yeah, with fear and all, enjoy!

PS. I'm glad you enjoy the blog. :)