Submitted on Thursday, November 22, 2007
By Jennea, 31, from Michigan:

Hi Victor, I hope you still remember me. I consulted with you several times in September. I want to tell you about the progress with the "busy" guy. I called him before I went to Boston. As you have predicted that he will give a cold response. When I reached Boston I did not contact him as I thought he will give me the same response again. But my friend arranged a gathering at a restaurant. At first he was rather cold and kind of avoid me. Slowly he became warmer and start to talk to me a little bit. He was nice to my friends and me.

Two weeks after I came back from Boston, I contacted him. He was friendly. I invited him to my sister's wedding. He said he will go. Just 5 days before the wedding, I contacted him again to ask him when he is coming to Michigan. But he did not reply. To my surprise he came to my sister's wedding. He was friendly to me and my family. He was warm and friendly during the wedding party. He stayed back until the end of the party. He told me before he left that if we have the chance, we will meet again in December. I am not sure what it meant. Later on, I heard from my friend that when the ceremony just started, a guy that I have dated before came and told the "busy" guy that I invited him too. Actually he was invited by my brother. I am not sure if this could lead to any bad thinking to the 'busy" guy.

I called him the next day to ask him for lunch. He said he can't. We chatted for a while and he said he has something on and will call me back. But he did not.

Can you please tell me what it meant. What should I do? Should I keep cool and wait for him to contact me? Kindly advise me. Thank you for your help.

VictorM's advice:

I sure do remember you. I'm glad to hear from you again.

You can't catch a break with this guy, can you? Just when it seemed he was warming up to you again, something has to ruin it. I think he reverted back to having doubts about you because of what that guy told him at the wedding. No question about it. I think it's a natural reaction on his part to believe you're treating him just like another friend.

I don't know if it's too late but you need to rectify that impression with him. Let him know, in no uncertain terms, that you did not invite that guy.

Jennea, if you want to get serious with this guy, come on, you have to get a little more aggressive about letting him know that. I mean, why didn't you end the party making out with this guy on the dance floor (or something like that)?

You were the one with all the mixed signals last time (if memory serves me right) and again this time (because of this other guy saying he was invited by you). I can't blame him for pulling back. You really have to make the extra effort to convince him that you really like him.