By sara, 28, from uk:

Thank you for your response.... and yep you make a lot of sense. I'm an idiot I know!! I'm just a little scared I guess because I've been through quite a few bad relationships and you're right my attitude has been childish and defensive.

A few more questions though.....he messaged me on msn today...and said to me that he's been asked out by 3 women already this week and can't understand what's the matter with us all!! He said he can't be arsed to go out with any of these women...as he hasn't got the time etc. We chatted about other things...and then he went. He always talks about other women to me...is this to get a reaction from me? And how should I react? Because I don't do jealousy that often...and in all honesty I know for a fact that he's not been asked out by 3 women this week. So why did he feel the need to tell me?

Also...how should I broach the subject of us being together? Do I say it again? Or do I let him bring it up? I mean...he wasn't that receptive to me saying that I liked him etc...and I know I was as confusing as hell... I'm just scared that he'll run away if I say I want to be with him you know? Stupid I know....I need to be more confident about myself.

God I'm so stupid when it comes to men ha ha ha

VictorM's advice:

Awwww... stop saying you're stupid about guys. You're just someone who wants things to go right. What's wrong with that? Nothing.

I can tell you with much certainty that once he asked you for a relationship and you responded a "little sarcastic and defensive" you bruised his ego. Now, like the little child that men can be when that happens, he wants to hurt you back too, hence all the talk about other women and rejecting your statements that you like him. Your words are not enough to remove the bruised ego.

You need to put a Band-Aid on the boo-boo that you created. You need to go out on a limb to reassure him that you mean business. You need to say to him something along these lines:

I like you a lot and want us to give it a go at a serious relationship. I know you asked me that before and I didn't respond well because I was surprised and scared. I'm so sorry about that. Since then I have thought about it carefully and I really would like for us to give it a serious shot. Let's please stop the talk about other women and other men because I want us to focus on each other exclusively.

Resist the temptation to add more weepy stuff. He's a guy.

The key sentence is "I'm so sorry about that". Make sure you emphasize the word "so", as in "I'm sooo sorry about that." Hearing you apologize is the band-aid his ego needs.

If he runs way, well... he was going to run away no matter when you had this talk. The sooner you find out the better so that you can go on with your life.