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Monday, November 26, 2007
Am I an idiot or what?
Submitted on Saturday, November 24, 2007
By Gena, 49, from NJ:
What do you think of a guy that travels for work but never tells you where he is going or when he is coming back, calls you from the road and says he will contact you later and never does,visits his family every holiday and you spend it alone, walks into your house and take over the TV remote, the computer, and expects you do pick up the pieces when he "forgets" or claims himself too busy to do what is necessary for his job?
That has been my situation for 5 years - am I an idiot or what? And guess what I spent Thansgiving week doing? A work project for him - he visited his family for the week. Yep, he was supposed to keep in touch, help me on a few things - did he? I think you already know the answer!
VictorM's advice:
You're not an idiot, you're a woman in dire need of professional therapy to help you understand why you put up with that man. In fact, I'm willing to bet that others before him have been of a similar ilk.
Calling yourself an idiot, frankly, is a cop out. It solves nothing and allows you get by without confronting the demons that make you accept him and his behavior. In essence, the truth that would set you free is the truth you're afraid to face. Putting up with this bozo is easier and it allows you to blame someone else. Really, you're using him instead of just the other way around. With him around, you can point a finger at him instead of at yourself.
You're afraid to take responsibility, to make decisions, to seek appropriate help, to face life on your own, and above all, you're afraid of change. You're not an idiot; you're a coward.
By Gena, 49, from NJ:
What do you think of a guy that travels for work but never tells you where he is going or when he is coming back, calls you from the road and says he will contact you later and never does,visits his family every holiday and you spend it alone, walks into your house and take over the TV remote, the computer, and expects you do pick up the pieces when he "forgets" or claims himself too busy to do what is necessary for his job?
That has been my situation for 5 years - am I an idiot or what? And guess what I spent Thansgiving week doing? A work project for him - he visited his family for the week. Yep, he was supposed to keep in touch, help me on a few things - did he? I think you already know the answer!
VictorM's advice:
You're not an idiot, you're a woman in dire need of professional therapy to help you understand why you put up with that man. In fact, I'm willing to bet that others before him have been of a similar ilk.
Calling yourself an idiot, frankly, is a cop out. It solves nothing and allows you get by without confronting the demons that make you accept him and his behavior. In essence, the truth that would set you free is the truth you're afraid to face. Putting up with this bozo is easier and it allows you to blame someone else. Really, you're using him instead of just the other way around. With him around, you can point a finger at him instead of at yourself.
You're afraid to take responsibility, to make decisions, to seek appropriate help, to face life on your own, and above all, you're afraid of change. You're not an idiot; you're a coward.
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hey. I still like one of my ex-boyfriends and we used to talk all the time on msn but ever since he started dating this girl...I try to say hi but he won't talk to me anymore. the girl is a really big whore.
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