jane, 20, from florida, asks:

Why can't he just be true to his word?

OK, this guy I have known for about two years now has just recently let me know he likes me a lot. We met one night a long time ago and since we live far apart we always talk online. And he comes to visit every now and then but not too often. I hadn’t really talked to him for awhile but two weeks ago he was up late and so was I and he instant messaged me. He started venting about a lot of stress he was going through and he told me he wished I was there right now with him. I couldn't believe everything he was saying. I have liked this guy so much for like the past 2 years but always thought he never liked me more than a friend and now here he is spilling his heart out to me online. He kept saying things like "where do we go from here?" and I know I haven't been the nicest guy but I want to change for you and saying he wants to be in a relationship. He said he wants to come and see me. I just sat there and watched everything he kept typing in complete shock. I didn't really know what to say but I was so glad he was finally saying all this because I've wanted him to like me always and he told me that he has liked me this whole time since we first met but he didn't know how to say it. He went on to say that he would do anything to prove to me that he is changed and wants to be better for me and hopes that I still like him as much as I used to. He told me he would call me and we would talk and start slow. He said so many things that were just letting me know he cares about me and wants to be in a relationship and he's sorry for the way he's acted by ignoring me but that he's finally able to express what he really feels honestly to me. He said he would call me the next day and we would talk more on the phone. This all happened at like 3 in the morning and the next day he sent me a text saying he was sorry he couldn't call me and he felt horrible because he was really busy that day. So I assumed he would just end up calling me later on the next day..Days turned into weeks and now 2 weeks from that night he poured out his soul to me, he hasn't talked to me since.. I have sent him a couple of texts and he responded saying he was busy. I don't understand what happened. He said so much that he wanted to be in a relationship yet he hasn't communicated with me once since than. Did I do something wrong? Did he change his mind? After all of this why couldn't he just be true to his word? What should I do? I am stressing out constantly wondering what has happened and why he won't speak to me...any advice will help me! I like him so much and this hurts so bad that he is avoiding me.

VictorM's advice:

Ah... those early morning "confessions" after a stressful day (who knows, maybe compounded by alcohol?) and I'm sure it all sounded so reassuring that night... to have a girlfriend who really likes him... the peace... the stability... how wonderful.

Then he slept on it. He rested. Stress (and maybe alcohol) are out of his system...

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO? WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY? Oh no!!!! I mean, sure, she's a nice girl and I like her a lot and I know she really likes me... but... but... damn, I better be busy cause I don't know how to tell her I really don't mean now all that I said last night."

That more or less sums things up. He's not busy; he just doesn't know how to tell you he wants a do-over, that he wants to take it all back. At least for now.

You asked: "Why can't he just be true to his word?" Oh come on! He didn't make any calculated and premeditated promise; he just talked without thinking.

Your best bet is to email him or leave him a voice message and laugh about that night. Tell him that you know he didn't mean all of that he said and you hope he calls you back cause you have fun with him.

Of course, you could sit around waiting for him to stop being "busy". I hope you're willing to wait an eternity.