Karina, 18, from NJ, asks:

Helppp! I have been hooking up with a guy from my school for about a month now. He is American, and I am Russian. I am NOT nationality crazy, I've just never dated an American before. My problem is we are completely different. He likes house parties and school stuff. I like going out to lounges and places in the city. My whole world doesn't revolve around the people in school. His does. We are fine, except for the fact that we both feel we live in different worlds. He doesn't like doing things I do, and I don't like doing things he does. The chemistry is amazing though. We also think differently. He thinks it's okay to still chill with his ex girlfriend from 2 years ago while I'm sitting at home doing nothing, and I feel it's inappropriate. I tell him at least one ex will have feelings for the other, but he tells me that's not the case. He even told me they were hooking up before me and him were. I'm not jealous, I'm not sad. I just think it's not right. He said he didn't go hang out with her, but I don't care. He made it seem like he was doing me a favor. I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, but I feel he should be dying to be with me.. all his friends are. He also thinks I'm supposed to sit at home and cry about it, and I don't. I go out, I have fun, and I have a life with or without him. He thought it was weird that he didnt go with his ex and I went out anyway. He figured I would sit home and be sad. How can I get him to see my point of view more clearly?

VictorM's advice:

You made an accusation about the reason why him and his ex see each other. By doing so, you invited him to be defensive about it instead of encouraging a healthy discussion.

If you think it's inappropriate that he sees her, you should specify your reasons, not assume that you know what each of them is thinking and feeling, when in fact, you do not. Tell him about how him seeing her makes you feel. If not jealous, than what? If not neglected, then what? But you should talk about how it makes you feel.

He's not facing the truth about why he sees her and you're not facing the truth about why it bothers you.