Ali, 21, from England, asks:

Hey, I'd really like some advice. I want my ex back. We had been together for a year and a half then two months ago I broke up with him because I was confused about whether I still wanted to be with him. Anyway, after a few weeks I realised I had made a mistake, I really missed him and being apart from him made me realise how much I loved him and wanted to be with him still. I told him this and he said he didn't want us to go out anymore. I've seen him a few times since and every time I see him we end up being together again and acting as a couple and it is always him who makes the first move. I asked him if we could try again but he said no he didn't want to be in a relationship, he wanted to be able to do what he wants when he wants. Since then I've not seen him and have just spoken to him briefly through text messages. Thing is I don't want to give up on us, he hasn't been with anyone else since we broke up and it doesn't seem like that's why he wants to be single. If you were a guy in his position what could the girl do to completely blow you away again and make you want to be with her? I am open to any suggestions you might have, and what should I definately not do? I really love this guy and throughout our relationship he was always so in love with me and I know he still has feelings for me from how he acts when he is with me, he says he's just not sure about a lot of things at the moment. Please help me. A few steps on how to make him want me back would be great oh and our paths never cross unless we arrange to meet, thanks.

VictorM's advice:

I totally understand his reluctance to get back together with you. Guys are less forgiving about stuff like this. To satisfy his bruised ego he's going to want to "punish" you for dumping him. He's now in a position of power over you and could abuse it, particularly if he gets to enjoy you as a girlfriend while he's with you and not have to act as your boyfriend when he's away from you.

Since you are the one that dumped him, you might want to show him that you really want him back, but don't go overboard. You should consider expressing your interest in him but WITHOUT giving him the perks that only a boyfriend gets. Think about it: why should he rush back to you if he's getting all he wants from you now?