Lyndsay, 31, from New Mexico, asks:

Back in January I started talking daily to a man I met through friends 4 years ago on a sales trip to Manhattan. We'd kept in touch over the years, but we suddenly started talking a lot; he'd call 2-3 times a day just to say hello. We connected beyond belief, and he flew out to visit me in New Mexico in May. After a great trip, he continued to call and pursue me after he left. Here's the problem: I am now 31, and he's 41. He's working a lot these days at his new firm. But I am frustrated over broken promises (from him) to see one another again. All the while he still called 3-4 times a day. He says he can't date someone long-distance, but I said if things progressed over the next several months, I would consider moving to be closer to him.

However, I haven't seen him in 5 months, and I finally told him if he couldn't tell me when we'd see each other again, I couldn't keep taking his frequent calls, etc. I know he's not dating anyone else, just working a lot. I said to keep in touch, etc, but that I needed to move on. He hasn't called in weeks, and I am wondering what I did wrong. Neither of us have had any major, long-term relationships, yet we've become extremely close. Is he scared to commit? If so, why did he keep in touch all this time?

VictorM's advice:

Hint to you ladies: when a guy all of sudden starts getting too busy to see you it means he's lost interest.

So Lyndsay, he lost interest. But, you wonder, if you had such a wonderful time how can that be? That's exactly what he's wondering too. He doesn't understand why that is. So he thinks that maybe it's just a phase. So the guy keeps contact just in case the loss of interest is temporary. And he makes excuses (he's too busy) for not seeing you. This is not designed to lie to you, it's designed to buy time without burning bridges with you in case the feelings return. But you forced his hand with the offer to move. Now he needed to tell you that you better move on. The "stay in touch" is just bullshit, something that guys say because they're trying to minimize hurting you.

You did nothing wrong. You were clever to force his hand or else this would go on for years. Now you know, and now you can move on.