Tina, 39, from Atlanta, asks:

My boyfriend has a hard time expressing himself, he tends to pick fights in order to get his point across, or if he comes over to my house, he will not say, could you have dinner prepare. He will try to give me hints, instead of just saying I am hungry. Please help.

VictorM's advice:

He deals with you the only way he knows how: by talking to you like he did with his little pals in the playground. Emotionally he's a little boy trapped in a man's body.

You know his temperament. It takes two to fight. Refuse to be drawn into fights. When he gets argumentative tell him you're no longer going to argue with him and leave immediately when he picks a fight. Stay calm and just leave! Walk away! Refuse to engage in a fight. Don't give him the attention he craves. He only does it now because it works for him: the discussion is held on his terms; he can out shout you, I bet; it detracts from any wrong doing on his part; he probably gets you to give up eventually; but above all, it puts him control. And control is what his behavior is all about. Deny him all of that. Either you have a calm conversation or you're walking out.

Will it work? Probably not. The odds that you have the discipline to carry this out are also slim; much slimmer are the odds that he can change. But if you don't try, you can submit yourself to his anger and temper and bottle up your opinions. If you do, you will be a miserable woman, one of those terribly cranky middle-age women who dream of setting their partner's testicles on fire or cutting their peckers in half.

And why is it your responsibility to feed the guy? Let him starve if he doesn't speak his mind!

He's acting like a child and you're enabling the behavior. You have to risk losing him if you want him to lose these childish tendencies.