sally james, 27, from leeds england, asks:

I had been seeing my boyfriend for over 6 years. He always went on about me being too good for him and said that one day I would leave him. Last year we bought a house together. Although I loved him dearly, we had never really got the bedroom action right. It was OK for him but terrible for me. I tried to make it right, but in the end gave up and we didn't have sex for 9 months. I mistakenly thought my drive had gone because I had put on a bit of weight. But really it was because of the above.

As he's a teacher he had the summer all to himself. He hooked up with old friends, single friends and they showed him what he was missing. He then split up with me. Saying that it was a trial separation of 6months, that he would move out in order to get the romance back, but that he couldn't promise he wouldn't see other people.

I was devastated for 2 weeks and tried everything to get him back. During this period he slept with someone else and told me about it, then tried to have sex with me. That's when I got over it and have since been fine. I deserve better. I've always had good self esteem due to good friends and a loving family.

He decided to continue dating even though he still lived in our house and insisted on always letting me know what he had been up to. I thought this was disrespectful but because I was over it I didn't show any emotion. Now I know he doesn't love me anymore, it's a fact. But he can't handle the fact that I'm okay with it too. According to him I should still be in bed crying my eyes out. It causes endless arguments and games on his part. He does everything to try and make me act like I care. Why? He dumped me.

VictorM's advice:

Two reasons:

1. Ego.
2. This guy is a selfish and disrespectful individual.

Sure, he dumped you but that wasn't enough for him; he needs to see you feeling miserable, which is why he tells you all these stories. You're now seeing the man's true soul. Ugly, huh? Good thing you're over him.

PS. Unrelated to your question, seeing the name "Leeds" saddens me because of Leeds United. Such a big name when I was growing up and look where they are now? (I trust you'll know what I mean even if no one else will).