Shelley, 21, from OK, asks:

Hi, I am writing in an attempt to get an explanation for a guy's behavior, and finding a way to deal with him. I experienced a painful not-so-clear rejection a few weeks ago that has been bothering me since. I had been seeing a guy (a few years older than me) for a couple of months, and physical attraction was clearly there. We took things kind of fast, and he made me aware of this after a few encounters. He ended up dumping me - through e-mail - right before he left on a guy's vacation. I accepted without a fight, and he ended up messaging me after the trip. I accepted his plea for another chance, and things were going well. Until...

I recently found out my mother is very ill, and one of the by-products of all of my pent-up frustration and sadness are sudden outbursts of tears. I went away with my guy on a weekend trip, and was shocked on the last night by his behavior. I had let go of my smiles and laughter and erupted into a small fit of sobbing, and simply needed him to comfort me. He started fussing at me to go back to sleep, and marked my tears and sniffling as immature, childish, and disrespectful toward the other people in the room. He abandoned me that night, and gave me the silent treatment for nearly three weeks. He finally returned one of my calls, and was very rude to me. I understand that all couples have conflicts, but for him to close the door on me and to keep me in the dark for weeks before telling me "it just didn't work out" seems despicable. I have to confront him again in a few days to get some of my things back I left behind at his place. Have any thoughts on how I should deal with him? Is it obvious that he didn't treat me with unconditional respect? Thanks (sorry for the length!)

VictorM's advice:

You mean to tell me that after he treated you that way you still bothered to repeatedly call the guy instead of ruling him out of your life once and for all right there and then? My lord, what bigger sign do you need to recognize someone as a complete jerk, as someone you should never deal with again than how you were treated that night?

You had a chance to look into the soul of this man and he's an empty, barren, indifference creature. This was not just a misunderstanding, an off night, a bad mood, a mistake on his part. This guy, when it comes to dealing with another human being, as the sensibility of a rock, with my apologies to all rocks.

The way you deal with him when you pick up your things is simple: you pick up your things and leave! No insults, no excuses, no explanations, don't even give him the time of day. Nothing!