emma, 25, from new jersey, asks:

There is this guy that I met online and after a few conversation online and over the phone, we decided to meet. I was not expecting to like him, but I was pleasantly surprised by the way he turned out to be. As I spent more time with him, I began to realize that he is exactly what I had been looking for. We spent a lot of time together but then he always kept reiterating the fact that he is not a 'single woman guy' yet he kept talking about his ex-girlfriend whom he claims he still loves. When we are together, he treats me like his girlfriend but otherwise he is just like any other normal guy-friend. He has recently relocated and despite of all claims that we would not continue this 'so-called' relationship, we talk almost everyday. I am very confused with the way he has been with me. Am I just a rebound, time-pass or a safety net? I don't want to be either one. I don't want to waste anymore of my time on him, but am also scared that if I confront him with direct questions, it will just scare him away. Please help !!!

VictorM's advice:

Just because you're a female and he likes talking to you does not mean he has romantic feelings for you. You're easy to talk to (you talk almost everyday even with him away), you're non-threatening (you're afraid to confront him with a question), and he probably got some physical pleasure without having to commit (he treats you like his girlfriend). He has already told you he's in love with his ex and he let you know he's not into you in a serious manner (he is not a 'single woman guy'). How much more obvious does he need to make it? Just because he's all you're looking for doesn't mean you're all he's looking for.

You have got nothing to lose by asking the question. Don't be afraid to scare him away because frankly, you never had him. I doubt you will like the answer you'll get but then again, if you don't want to waste your time, you need to hear it.