Michelle, 23, from LA, asks:

Hey it's Michelle from LA again. This is a follow-up question about the girl hitting on my guy (and me calling her a slut).

I recently found out it wasn't the girl who was hitting on him; what they have is mutual. They have been talking like hell for the past few months. He's not the talkative type, but they would talk for like an hour almost every day. What hurts more is that he would talk to me and right after he would call her.

I asked him how he felt about her and he would always get worked up and say they're just friends. But the other day we sat down and seriously talked about us. When I asked about her again he said he really likes her, but "it's not the kind of liking you're thinking about." He said they have a lot in common and they can communicate and that he has a lot to learn from her.

I don't understand. Yes I am the jealous type, but this time it just feels wrong. Even my guy friends think it's bullshit. Is there such a thing as just liking a girl as a friend who you feel you have a good connection and talk every day and not have feelings for her? When I get into a relationship I set my boundaries with other guys because I feel like that's how I should respect my guy. So I don't get how you can call a girl at 2, 4 am and talk for an hour almost every day and just be friends. It just hurts.

VictorM's advice:

One question: does he find her attractive? If the answer is yes, he certainly has developed feelings for her and you being out the door is just a matter of time. His constant talking to her is unhealthy for your relationship, he knows it, and yet he won't stop.

We're not just talking about your jealousy here. He clearly has overstepped the boundaries you talked about. You didn't make up those boundaries. They are unwritten "rules" in our society that reflect commitment to one person, not many. The frequency of calls suggest something more than friendship brewing.

Look, general rule of thumb: if a girlfriend brings up a concern to her boyfriend that she feels he's giving too much attention to a particular girl and he defends that relationship knowing he's upsetting his girlfriend, his intentions are immediately suspect. Period.

I'm with your friends, it's bullshit.