julia s., 14, from california, asks:

Okay, this is my story and I need help! My boyfriend and I had been going out for quite awhile and we fell in love. We talked all the time and were extremely close. One night, my boyfriend told me he was getting crap from his friends about me, and he was confused about his feelings. So we broke up. 2 days later, he was hanging out with a group of people. One girl, who was standing right next to him, texted him and said "You should ask me out." He said, "I don't know" but she begged him to. So he did, but later that night he decided he made a mistake and said it wouldn't work out. (I heard this all from a close friend.) 3 days later, he wanted to meet me at the park between our houses. So I went, not knowing what to expect. We talked about everything, and he told me that he messed up, was confused, and now he isn't and he really loves me. So we got back together. But now, it doesn't seem the same. He talks to me on the phone, but doesn't seem the same. He says I love you but not as much as before. He even said before we broke up that he thinks he is changing and he doesn't want to hurt me. Is he changed now? Did I make a mistake to get back together? How do I know that I'm his only one?? I feel like I'm still in love with the person I went out before, and I don't know if that person is still the same?

VictorM's advice:

People's feelings about others do change. The stories about his friends giving him crap and this other girl could be signs that he doesn't feel about you as he once did and is trying to find a way out. Maybe that's what you're detecting in his behavior. But there's another possibility.

Maybe you have changed. Maybe his "I love you" doesn't sound the same to you because you're starting to wonder about you two. So now, you say he's not how he was before and you're counting how often he says I love you. Maybe you're the one looking for cracks in the relationship.

No matter what mental gymnastics you do, your boyfriend is what he is now, not what he was before. You have to decide if you want this guy or not. But you don't have to rush.

You didn't make a mistake going back with him. It's important that if you break-up and stay broken-up that you're sure that's what you want to do. Whether you stay with him or don't, it's not the end of the world. But it's nice to do the right thing for the right reasons. You seem like a very thoughtful girl. If you trust your instincts you will not go wrong.