Kim, 51, from Memphis, TN, asks:

Dear Victor,

I have known this man for around 9 months. Actually, we only dated three months, seeing each other three or four times a week. He wanted me to move in with him and I didn't respond because I want to be married and not live with someone. Now, he had told me two week after meeting me that he had made prior arrangements to go on a vacation out of town. A week before he was leaving on his vacation he had asked me where was this relationship going. I told him let's wait and talk about it in a different place and time, because we were out and about. Well, we never had that conversation before he left. And, it was about two days into his vacation that I realized that he may have had another woman with him. So, I called him and broke it off with him. I was going to start dating other people. We both started dating and he continued to see that other woman. We ran into each other and were going to get together and have dinner. Then, he told me at dinner he was in love with someone else. She has more money and he said the money was a big concern. Because I am not in a situation with lots of money. I then told him what I thought of him and his materialist motives and he was a very shallow person. Then, I left him and started dancing with another man I know there at the restaurant. I was told later he stood and watched me 10 min. and left. Then, two days later he texted me wanting to go out on a date. I still remember him saying that we had a great relationship together and the sex was just an added bonus. But, why? After all that, why is he wanting to go out with me?

VictorM's advice:

You provided the answer to your own question. Why does he still want to go out with you? "The sex was just an added bonus." That's right, he's after that bonus.