aly, 18, from ny, asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half then he broke up with me. He called me the day after crying and telling me he misses me. And then he seems totally bipolar and will act all cold. He doesn't want to talk about it but we still talk on the phone and stuff, it's been 10 days. Then like 5 days ago he calles me at 11:30 at night saying he just called to say hi and was like do you maybe wanna hang out next weekend and told me to "please come" to his big soccer game this weekend. Then 2 days after he is all cold and I saw him in the hallway and wallked with him for a bit then he texted me three hours later saying do you mean to always find me at school? So I started ignoring him for the past 3 days, I won't answer his calls or texts. Last night he sends so you're just pretending I'm dead or something in a text message and I didn't say anything then this morning I saw him twice in school and smiled as I walked by and I walked right past him. My mom told me that eventually he's going to miss you so bad and come crawling back. But then today an hour later after I ignored seeing him in the hall he sends when can I get my stuff in a text. I feel like it's really over but I still love him very much. What is he thinking? Do you think we will get back together?

VictorM's advice:

I think your mom is trying to console you but she's wrong. Yes, I believe it's over.

His calling back crying, texting you, and other contact with you are not signs that he will come back, quite the opposite, they are signs that he's coping with having left you. He can't break away from you cold turkey, hence contacting you again, but the contacts will become less and less as he adapts to being without you longer and longer.

Being with the same person for a while can be habit forming. Our bodies get used to the other person's touch, scent, and the sound of their voice. Even if we fall out of love with that person, it takes effort to being without them. He's just fighting off the habit.