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Monday, August 27, 2007
She has an online crush
Samatha, 20, from USA, asks:
I met this guy 2 months ago online. Neither of us have been in a long distance (online relationship.) I've brought it up a couple of times but seems to get no where (we seem to move on a different subjects). I've asked him before if he had any feelings for me, which he replyed with a "yes".... yet nothing serious is going on. I really do have a huge crush on this guy. What should I do?
VictorM's advice:
You're 20 years old. I assume he's around the same age. From a guy's point of you, to grow any serious interest in you he needs to feel you, taste you, smell you. He'll keep chatting with you as long as his fantasy of laying his hands on you are alive. But when it comes to his feelings, "Yes" is not an answer; it's a delaying tactic.
What you should do is continue to talk to the guy, find out more about him, but realize that unless you live very close to each other, it won't mean a thing. Spent more time meeting guys in the flesh or else you're going to regret wasting the best years of your life at the keyboard.
I met this guy 2 months ago online. Neither of us have been in a long distance (online relationship.) I've brought it up a couple of times but seems to get no where (we seem to move on a different subjects). I've asked him before if he had any feelings for me, which he replyed with a "yes".... yet nothing serious is going on. I really do have a huge crush on this guy. What should I do?
VictorM's advice:
You're 20 years old. I assume he's around the same age. From a guy's point of you, to grow any serious interest in you he needs to feel you, taste you, smell you. He'll keep chatting with you as long as his fantasy of laying his hands on you are alive. But when it comes to his feelings, "Yes" is not an answer; it's a delaying tactic.
What you should do is continue to talk to the guy, find out more about him, but realize that unless you live very close to each other, it won't mean a thing. Spent more time meeting guys in the flesh or else you're going to regret wasting the best years of your life at the keyboard.
Comments:
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You enjoy the online relationship because of the attention you receive. It's absolutely thrilling to see his name online, and when he chats with you or emails you, oh wow. And depending on how much you're in contact (every day? every few hours? every...minute?!) all that attention can be quite intoxicating.
So of course you have a crush on the guy. You can enjoy the attention, but don't fool yourself into any expectations. And who knows? If you ever meet him in person, maybe the crush doesn't translate physically.
So yeah. Don't waste all your time online trying to snare him into a deeper emotional relationship. Have fun with it, but don't start planning your wedding just yet.
That being said...I know a couple who met online playing World of Warcraft, struck up an online romance, and a year later he flew to meet her and then they got married. But I think that's not the usual course of events for online & long distance relationships. ;)
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So of course you have a crush on the guy. You can enjoy the attention, but don't fool yourself into any expectations. And who knows? If you ever meet him in person, maybe the crush doesn't translate physically.
So yeah. Don't waste all your time online trying to snare him into a deeper emotional relationship. Have fun with it, but don't start planning your wedding just yet.
That being said...I know a couple who met online playing World of Warcraft, struck up an online romance, and a year later he flew to meet her and then they got married. But I think that's not the usual course of events for online & long distance relationships. ;)
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