Justwondering, 30, asks:

I am separated from my husband, (in my state you have a waiting period before you get a divorce). This guy I've been seeing just recently told me his conscience is getting to him about me still being married and he wants to cool things off. We have been best friends and together almost everyday, it's not always sexual either, we sometimes just hang out. We always give each other a nice goodnight kiss but sometimes that is it.. My question is, could it really be his conscience or is he really not into me? He says he still wants to hang out just not as much to make it "easier". Is this BS or not? I do feel like I love him, so is that clouding reality for me?

VictorM's advice:

Come on, he knew your situation when it all started, didn't he? And how does seeing you less make it easier on his conscience? Can you imagine someone who feels guilty for cheating on a spouse 5 times a month be relieved of that guilt by cheating only three times? It's not the frequency, it's the act itself. If he said he wouldn't see you until after your divorce is final I could more easily believe him about it being a matter of conscience, but that he only wants to ease up on seeing you makes no sense. Also, I could more easily believe him if he had said he felt a bit rushed and wanted to slow things down purely for the sake of taking it easier and allowing you two to get to know each other better. That would seem to me a reasonable approach. So I call it bullshit that he's using his conscience as a reason. He's cooling off and using his "conscience" only as an excuse.

He's pulling away and like most men he wants to avoid hurting your feelings. Just read my archives and you'll see tons of questions about men not having the balls to be direct with a woman when his interest declines. Your question is another one for that collection.