sandy, 30, from fl, asks:

My fiance was caught holding hands with a guy he works with while driving in the work vehicle. Could they possibly be just horsing off? He tells me he loves me but hardly spend any time with me and he said that one of his buddies was gonna be in our wedding and that he will look good in a tux. I have asked him if he's gay and he said I am not a faggot. And then he left. I haven't heard from him in days. Could it be that he is or he's just angry that I would think that? Please help.

VictorM's advice:

Holding hands with a coworker as joke? No way! Not very attentive with you? Denying being a "faggot" (this strong denial using such language is common with those fighting their sexuality), and storming off at your question? I can't be 100% sure, of course, but I would bet some real money that he is gay.

Even in the 21st century western world, being gay is still a great burden for many to bear. It's sad but it's the truth. He shouldn't have to take a test or be dragged over the coals for it. There are plenty of reasons to understand why such an admission is so difficult. However, from your side, you don't need concrete proof either. Sounds like you have enough information to determine his sexual preference. You are just having a difficult time accepting the reality.

You're not a court of law and he's not a criminal. Innocent until proven guilty does not apply here. Whatever your decision, I hope you have the wisdom to do what's best for you and the compassion to be a good friend to him.