Carla, 33, from united kingdom, asks:

Hi, it's Carla thank you for your comments Victor, there are a couple of things i would like to add to what i said. at all times my husband and his wife knew what was going on between us, we never hid any pat of our friendship, and the play fighting was only when we were at his house if he was winding me up, I would then ask his wife if it would be ok to hit him and if she said yes I would then smack him once ot twice about the head, but that was it, it was never more than that. When he made the comment to me about the fact that he would've married me first, I told him that he hadn't married me first and that he had met and fell in love with his wife first, and if there was anyway he could save his marriage he should do it, because it was to important to throw away. And the last thing is I love my husband and I would never cheat on him or leave him. And I know my friend always felt that way about his wife, I wasn't trying to be greedy, I just genuinely can't understand why we no longer have contact between us. I still see his wife every week and we are still close friends and I would never have even considered hurting her by trying to steal her husband from her.

VictorM's answer:

OK, so your play fighting wasn't quite as devious as it sounded, but Carla, stop the miss innocent nonsense! The guy talked about marrying you first. Clearly, this is not a topic that "just friends" talk about. Something more the friendship was in the air between you two and you have to be utterly naive to not think his wife senses it when you're playful with him.

Stop placing yourself at the center of the universe and allow the man to do what he feels he needs to do, for whatever reason he's doing it.