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Monday, August 27, 2007
50/50 phone bills
lisa, 23, from germany, asks:
My boyfriend barely calls and when he calls most of the time he wants me to call him back (because it's so expensive for him. I DO HAVE TO PAY MY PHONE BILL TOO). Sometimes he gets mad if I didn't look at the phone and answered it and it was him than. If he has to charge his phone with minutes or I have to pay my phone bill is the same and I think it should be 50/50 also because he makes more money than me. It's just weird, at the beginning till a year it was mainly him calling or we switched and now acting totally ghetto like with the phone calls. It's not that he doesn't buy things for me or been greedy getting flowers or so but the phone calls, what the heck. I don't know what to say or think about it anymore and I even said to him one time that we should switch on calling.
VictorM's advice:
Maybe it's not so much that he wants you to pay as much as it is that he would like to talk less on the phone. I don't know about your boyfriend, but most guys really can do with a lot less phone talking than girls do. Maybe he's afraid to tell you that, so he's using the money as an excuse.
My boyfriend barely calls and when he calls most of the time he wants me to call him back (because it's so expensive for him. I DO HAVE TO PAY MY PHONE BILL TOO). Sometimes he gets mad if I didn't look at the phone and answered it and it was him than. If he has to charge his phone with minutes or I have to pay my phone bill is the same and I think it should be 50/50 also because he makes more money than me. It's just weird, at the beginning till a year it was mainly him calling or we switched and now acting totally ghetto like with the phone calls. It's not that he doesn't buy things for me or been greedy getting flowers or so but the phone calls, what the heck. I don't know what to say or think about it anymore and I even said to him one time that we should switch on calling.
VictorM's advice:
Maybe it's not so much that he wants you to pay as much as it is that he would like to talk less on the phone. I don't know about your boyfriend, but most guys really can do with a lot less phone talking than girls do. Maybe he's afraid to tell you that, so he's using the money as an excuse.
Comments:
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Most guys do hate talking on the phone. Some women hate talking on the phone. That, I will admit, is totally a gender thing.
Perhaps you could compromise? If you regularly talk every day, maybe just call each other every other day (or some variation thereof) and take turns paying. And then during those times when you really need to talk, go ahead.
Look, communication does not necessarily have to be instant. You can save it up for a specific time. Millions of people have done it that way for ages. Just because you have a phone doesn't mean you have to use it all the time.
But most important, make sure you have something to talk about, too. Is there anything worse than calling someone only to listen to them breathe and go ummm and uhhh? Or listen to them blather on about their haircut or nail polish or whatever the hell? While you're paying for it?
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Perhaps you could compromise? If you regularly talk every day, maybe just call each other every other day (or some variation thereof) and take turns paying. And then during those times when you really need to talk, go ahead.
Look, communication does not necessarily have to be instant. You can save it up for a specific time. Millions of people have done it that way for ages. Just because you have a phone doesn't mean you have to use it all the time.
But most important, make sure you have something to talk about, too. Is there anything worse than calling someone only to listen to them breathe and go ummm and uhhh? Or listen to them blather on about their haircut or nail polish or whatever the hell? While you're paying for it?
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