Karina, 16, from NJ, asks:

I'm back, the boy that I had an open relationship with, the same boy that wasn't into me at first, left to Israel and came back 2 days ago and didn't call me. I bumped into him when we were at a group outing. We started talking, the next day he came over and we spent the whole day together.

Getting to the point.. we were at my house with a few friends and he was all over me. Then we went to our other friends house with the same people, and he whispered in my ear he doesn't want to be affectionate around people. I said ok, got mad and didn't pay attention to him. He texted me asking if I got home ok because I left early, and I told him I needed to speak with him. He called me when he got home, and I told him that I don't want a relationship either, because he's always complaining he doesn't want to break my heart and I laid everything out to him telling him both our situations, he apologized and felt stupid. He made up a different excuse saying I am to inexperienced and I told him I am still willing to hook up with him so he could call me if he wants. He told me he has no obligation and we said goodnight.

Today he didn't call me, and our friends were planning to go to his house but I think he didn't want me there so my girls and I ended up staying out with one of our mutual friends, while him and his other boy went to his house. The thing is, I don't even know if I want to be with him. For someone who doesn't want a relationship he always asks me about guys I hook up with and information. I can tell he cares just as much as I do, in fact maybe a little bit more. He went to Israel and didn't get with anyone.

I think I want him back, and I don't know if I should contact him or even if its good for me. I didn't realize that I do have feelings for him and he told me if I ever did to let him know so we could call it quits. And if I shouldn't call or text or anything.. what is the quickest way to forget him?

VictorM's advice:

Why should you try to forget him? You like him, he likes you, you're not wanting to get married and have kids in the foreseeable future, right? So why complicated things? Spent time with the guy. Go places with him. Have fun. Enjoy his company.

See, I think guys get this right and girls get it wrong. When two people feel an attraction and are starting to get to know each other, why does it have to be a "relationship"? Why can't the "relationship" part wait until you two spend some more time together and know each other better? When he says he doesn't want to break your heart, he means he doesn't know you well enough to be sure a relationship is going to work out. It makes sense to me. Take it easy and just have fun with him for a while.

He wasn't comfortable being affectionate in front of people. And for good reason -- you're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet. I give him a lot of credit for saying it. I don't see why you had to get upset about it when he has been honest and direct with you all along.

And another thing... when your friends went to his house, you said "but I think he didn't want me". This kind of thinking can complicate things that don't need complication. You don't know what he wanted or didn't want. Your assumption is a reflection of what you're thinking, not what he's thinking.

Look, the boy likes you and you like him. It's summer time in glorious New Jersey. Go to the shore together. Walk hand in hand on the boardwalk. Share an ice cream cone. Laugh. Enjoy each other's company. Life really isn't THAT complicated. Don't make it so.