Joyce, 29, from Indonesia, asks:

I had a boyfriend for almost 5 years. A few months after our 4th year anniversary, I asked him about his plans to get married, but he said he is not yet ready. One week later, he asked for "space." It was the first time in 5 years that he ever asked for space. During the whole time that we were together, I was always the one who suggested break-ups, but he always begged me to stay. I never expected that one day he will be the one to ask for space or a "cool-off". So I freaked out and didn't know what to do.

He works in the Sales Dept and he is normally required to work in far away areas. We see each other only 5-6 times a week, because of the nature of his job. Then he told me that one night he got so drunk and had a one night stand with a girl in the area he works in. Because of that, I broke up with him immediately. It's been 5 months since our break up. Now I want him back. I have already forgiven him. We are still in contact with each other as friends and he is usually sweet to me when we talk. Should I ask him out for a date? Should I ask him back? Is it a good idea that I still take his calls and that I also call him once in a while?

VictorM's advice:

It's a good idea to stay in contact and ask for a date if you want him back and if you don't mind wasting your time. Because, it will be a waste of time. The reason he's not with you has nothing to do with your forgiveness; it has to do with him being over you. He thought he was fine with you, he didn't want to lose you, but that was all before he faced his moment of truth, when he had to face the marriage talk straight on. Now he knows where you stand in his life, and that's not in it.

Being sweet to you doesn't mean he wants you back. Why shouldn't he be sweet to you? Just because he got over you doesn't mean he hates you or that he forgot his good manners. He's being polite. That's all.