lindsey, 22, from glasgow, asks:

My boyfriend is in quite a bit of debt. He can't afford to pay his car anymore and still owes finance on it plus he has another loan to pay for so he is really stressed. I have a lot of savings and can easily bail him out but I'm afraid as there's no guarantee I'll get it back. What do I do and what does he do?

VictorM's advice:

If his debt had come via hardship, like a serious illness, then I could see you making an effort to bail him out. But it sounds like he simply has mismanaged his way into debt. If this is so, the best thing you can do for him is to keep your money to yourself.

I say this for three reasons: one, you don't want to enable his poor money management skills; two, you don't want to be out of your money -- and chances are you will; and three, and the most important one, getting bailed out by a girlfriend is a terrible blow to a guy's ego. While you think you're helping, you're in reality just making him feel smaller. Instead, encourage him to dig himself out of the debts. Not only will this improve his money skills, but it will improve his outlook on life too because there will enormous pride in fighting is way out of trouble.

Instead of bailing him out there are little things you can do to help. I don't know his spending habits, but you can encourage him to engage in less expensive activities and help him with a budget he should live with.

But do NOT let him have your money... for his sake, and yours.