Rachel, 13, asks:

I have had crush on this guy that's my brother's best friend. We've been just friends and stuff. He has said hi in school or yelled my name or given me hugs. He's 15 years old. Turning 16 in September. He sleeps over my house a lot. And supposedly he considers me his family. But more family with my brother it seems.

My crush is very good looking. And has a charm and an amazing personality. But, he flirts with girls all the time. I mean ALL the time! He gets depressed easily. Well always. But is hyper and silly sometimes too.

I am an inexperienced with guys. So, last night I think maybe he took advantage of me..
He ended being alone in my living room. I started asking questions. And he told me he thinks he is losing people and he used to get 20 hugs a day. And now only 1 once a few days. So I huged him and stuff. And then we sat on the couch and I held him and sat by him. But we ended up cuddling. Then we ended up laying on the couch cuddling. Then we talked but, eventually he started kissing me and then I kissed him. We sat there a while. He gave me a lot of kisses. But then he tried kissing me with open mouth. But I told him before I left that I am not ready for open mouth. He ended up just huging me. But, I really think I went too fair... or too fast. We're not even dating. It was so weird. And stuff. I am starting to think he just wanted someone to do that with and I mean anyone. He told me he has kissed like 7 girls and four guys or something like that. That's kinda of gross tho. With sooo many people. He's always acting heartbroken and stuff. I need advice about the whole thing. And he told me things. And told me do I get to touch his "breast" and he can't touch mine. Ewl. I think the next time I see him it will be awkward. He didn't get to touch my breasts because I said he can't. But I kissed back and and I don't know the limits...when to stop and put boundaries.

Am I taking this too fair?
I feel horrible..
Should I even be with him?
What if my brother finds out?
I've told 2 people already..my two best friends. But I haven't gotten to tell the other one how I feel like really feel.
I need your advice.

VictorM's advice:

You did nothing to be ashamed of or to feel terrible about. You're 13, a bit curious, and you were trying to help him. And contrary to what you said, you know how to set boundaries -- you told him no open mouth kissing and no touching of your breasts. So... you're a lot braver and smarter than you're giving yourself credit for.

Please do NOT feel like you are responsible for his depression. That's HIS problem, not yours. You're not a therapist and you shouldn't try to play one. We all need hugs but it's not your responsibility to keep everyone happy.

If this event comes up, with him, your brother, or anybody else, you just have to say that you were trying to be a good friend and things got a little out of hand but it won't happen again. Unless, that is, if you'd like it to happen again.

This guy sounds too manipulative. I'm not saying he's a bad kid -- after all, he seems to have behaved the way most boys would -- but the whole needing hugs and if you touch his breasts he should be able to touch yours kinda stuff is pure trickery. Don't fall for it.

But Rachel, overall you did really well. You should be proud of yourself.