Angie, 29, from Trenton, asks:

My boyfriend of 20 months spends less and less time around me and doesn't call as often. He used to plan our activities and come around all of the time. Recently, I had to take the initiative to plan our time together because nothing was happening. He is receptive to my plans but I don't know how the roles changed. I don't want to always initiate things. If I don't call, don't come around and don't plan things, we don't have quality time together. I want things the way they were in the beginning.

VictorM's advice:

Yours is the most common complaint I hear from women. Men get lazy once they feel secure in a relationship.

You can either find a new boyfriend -- and start the same cycle all over again in a few months -- or you can remove the security from this relationship. As long as he feels you won't dump him, won't go out with your friends, can't do things by yourself, he has you by the balls. You have to be able to lose him to win back his drive to be more attentive. Could you drive him away by taking such actions? Sure. Would it be a big loss? Your answer will determine his future behavior. You have more control over it than you think.

In the beginning he was trying to win you over. You have to make him feel that he needs to do that again. Nagging him over what he should do won't work. You're wasting your energy and all you're doing is making him the center of your life. The last thing a guy wants his indifference. So go out with your girlfriends. Dress sexier even when you're not with him. Go out by yourself to do things you like even if he doesn't want to come along. Tell him what a wonderful time you had. Pay him little to no attention when he doesn't do things with or for you, and make sure you reward him when he does.

Men are like puppies. Train him.