Walnut, 28, from New Zealand, asks:

Hi Victor,

I have moved to a 1 bedroom apartment. This is a new home for future baby and I. I do feel leaving the old house is a wise move. Now I got on well with my new job. My boss really like my hard work. My job will be secured after maternity leave. Although money is a bit tight at the moment, but the financial stress for the past few month has gone. Leaving him, I don't have stress from the relationship. I do feel much better now. Baby still have 6-8 weeks to go. Living alone sometimes would be a bit lonely. The past happy memory with him comes up from time to time. I just can't help myself hoping we will sort things out and be together again. But he don't love me anymore and have a new relationship now. He won't have time to think about the past. I know there is no chance we will be together again. How can I stop that hope? If I have this expectation, things don't happen. I am still disappointed and upset, although I understand that's something out of my control.

VictorM's advice:

I'm glad to hear you moved and are doing OK.

You ask: "How can I stop that hope?" Why should you stop the hope? You had dreams of a great, loving family. That's a terrible dream to give up. It hurts. You don't want it to be. It would take a cold, indifferent person to not feel bad about losing it. If anything, this says you're a good person, one who aspires to provide her child with a happy family environment. So, don't feel bad for still hanging on to that hope.

But you were brave and you moved on. And you will continue to be brave. Your baby will come. You'll have happy days and sad days, and you'll come to understand that a child doesn't need an unloving father to be happy. You can provide that child with all the love and affection he/she will need to be happy.

Meanwhile, keep hope alive. You may think there's only one way to make your dreams come true but the future is full of endless possibilities and often our dreams get fulfilled in ways we never imagined possible.

Best of luck and keep us posted.