Angie, 44, from Missoure, asks:

I will try to make this short as short as possible. I met the guy nine months ago. Talk about feeling like a princess. He said he had never felt like this with anyone before and I felt the same. I really feel he meant it. I got flowers every 4 weeks, when he was out-of-town, he would call. He wanted to spend every night together and I was the one that even said are you sure. About 8 weeks ago he started to pull away. Not call like he used to when out of town, not as attentive. He would say he would do things and then he would not. I do admit that during this time, I now know that I did the wrong thing. I kept asking him what was wrong and trying to get to act like he used to. One Thursday, we had a disagreement, mainly over him being distant. He did not call me Friday until 10:00 p.m. and had been at a bar. He asked if I wanted to come over and I said no because I was tired and it was late. I was surprised that he even called and when I asked him why he called, he said, because “Maybe because I care”. He said that we would do something Saturday night and that he would call me by noon on Saturday to make plans. By 5:00 p.m. he had not called. I went over and acted like nothing was wrong. He said he did not say we would do anything on Saturday and did not say that he would call. I just could not take it anymore at this point. I told him that I still loved him and if things could be like they were, that I would be the happiest girl in the world, but I can’t go on like this. I left him a letter that basically said the same thing and I pointed out the things that I just could not take anymore. I do believe with all my heart that he really did truly love me. He even wanted to talk marriage early on, but I was not ready. Way too soon for me. It has been two weeks since I left, and I have not heard anything from him. I put this post in “he dumped me”, because even though I left, I feel he was doing the things that he was because he wanted to break up but did not have the strength to do it.

Questions for you guys:

1. Was he becoming more distant and not wanting to talk about it because he wanted to break up and did not have the guts and it was easier to make me mad enough to do it?

2. Do you think that it even bothers him that I left?

3. Do you think that he will think about what he lost and ever contact me again?

4. If I get asked out, would this make it better or worse if he would see me or find out?

Any other wisdom would really help.

Thanks in advance, Flutter

I need your opinion on this, especially the guy!

VictorM's advice:

We all are vulnerable to being "blinded by love" or seeing through "rose colored glasses". Relationships that start with the intensity you describe, more often than not, burn out.

With guys, once we get over that initial jolt of excitement (and it varies from guy to guy how long that lasts), it becomes a real problem to extricate ourselves from it when our feelings change. Guys hate to tell a woman that they don't feel the same way anymore. Partly because we hate to hurt your feelings, partly because we don't want to be accused of having lied just for sex, partly because we don't want to be accused of using you, partly because we don't know if it's just a temporary phase. So... we chicken out, we delay, we procrastinate. Eventually, we look for a good excuse for you to make the move. And voila'! You answered his prayers.

So now I'll answer your questions:

1. Was he becoming more distant and not wanting to talk about it because he wanted to break up and did not have the guts and it was easier to make me mad enough to do it?

Yes! Exactly!

2. Do you think that it even bothers him that I left?

No! He may be worried about you, he may wish you the best, he may feel bad it came to this, but overall he's thanking his lucky stars you bailed him out.

3. Do you think that he will think about what he lost and ever contact me again?

No! He may call to make sure you're OK, or to do whatever he can to not be perceived as a rat, but no matter how wonderful you may be you weren't his "the one", so in his mind, he hasn't lost anything.

4. If I get asked out, would this make it better or worse if he would see me or find out?

If I'm right, he'll be relieved you're dating again.

I need your opinion on this, especially the guy!

Here's my opinion: after a strong, passionate beginning he got over you. It's that simple. It's nothing you did wrong, it's just human nature. But this comes as no surprise to you; that's why you didn't want to marry him so soon. You had the right instincts.

Romance in many ways is like a marathon race; beware of the rabbit who starts too fast.