racheal, 16, from TX, asks:

I like this guy in my kickboxing class but he's very shy. He always looks at me then looks away. I feel like he likes me but is too shy to say it. He gets very nervous around me, which makes it hard to talk. I don't really want to be the one to make the first move as I'm shy too. He's making progress just not as quick as I would like. I'm afraid if I ask I'll scare him and I don't think he has a girlfriend but I'm not sure. Please help me.

VictorM's advice:

Don't ask him. You probably wouldn't have the nerve anyway. Boys around your age quite commonly have many crushes and they love to fantasize about them. Often, when a girl says yes or expresses her feelings, it's not as much fun as the fantasy. A few days ago Mariana posted the lyrics of a Spanish song that speak to that... he fantasizes about you saying Yes, but for other reasons he wants you to say No. Basically, he'll do things at his own pace, stretching out the mental seduction.

You can help him along by talking to him more and spending more time with him. To do that, you should try to find out a couple of things he either loves to do or is very knowledgeable about, and then ask open-ended questions on those topics. Let's say you find out he loves video games. Don't ask: "So you love video games?" You'll get a "yes" and nothing more. But if you ask something like: "What is it about video game A that you like so much?" A better question still is one that prompts him to help you. Say: "I play game X and I can never get the hang of doing Y. Can you show me how?"

Be careful what you wish for. Even shy guys can become motor-mouths once they're talking about topics they can impress you with.