Melanie, 32, from California, asks:

So I've been in two relationships which have both taken up most of my adult life. I've never really dated. After the break up of me and my last boyfriend (rebound from the first) a couple of months went by and I met a guy one night who was definitely someone I'd want to date. Except we drank too much and I jumped the gun and slept with him that night- never done that before. I was shocked when he called me the next day saying he wanted to get to know me better and hang out. So we did. Then the next three weekends he ended up in my neighborhood and each time we hooked up again. Fun times, going to parties, etc., laughing a lot, and ending up in bed each time. No hanging out during the week though or invites to do so. After the last time I didn't hear from him for a whle. I saw him in my hood and he was definitely avoiding me. I asked him about it. He said basically he freaked out because all the partying with me was wearing him thin, etc. I got the message. But then the next weekend he stopped by my work three times, making a point to say I looked cute, he liked what I was wearing, etc. I didn't get all googly eyed for him though because I didn't understand why he was doing that after kind of telling me he didn't want to hang out anymore. You think he still just wants to hook up? He asked me once if I liked him or just wanted to hook up and I said both. Maybe not the right answer cause I really like him, actually, but I didn't want to give him all that info just then. How to handle this kind of thing? I really would like to date him. So should I just risk getting rejected by telling him point blank or is there some better way? Or just let it go?

VictorM's advice:

Tell him straight out. After the quick jumping into bed and all the partying he may need to know for a fact you're serious about him, otherwise, he may be keeping a distance because he's not sure you're more than just a party girl.

In some cases this approach could scare the guy away, but in your case I think you have nothing to lose -- he's already a little scared of something. By saying what you really mean you'll either push him away or pulling him closer. But I think either result is better than the "no man's land" you're on now.

Definitely do not let go. You need closure with this guy or it'll always haunt you.