Jennifer, 30, from Washington, asks:

I met a much, much younger man while deployed, he initiated the relationship, we clicked we spent a lot of time together for about 6 months which included talking for hours on end, grieving lost friends and amazing sex. It also included him telling me about other female friends and every once in a while he would blurt out something rude out of the blue, completely unprovoked like "its not like I love you" or "it's just sex, we're not making love" which hurt but I just ignored him and chalked it up to immaturity. After returning home, surprisingly we kept in regular contact. Prior to returning home we never really discussed the future of our relationship because we lived so far away from each other I thought we both assumed that an exclusive relationship was not feasible. Now after many months of being home I am really falling for this guy and am not quite sure what to do. He tells me I am the best sex he has ever had, no other women compare, gets very specific. Please keep in mind I do not contact him, I am a driven and educated person, I figured if he wants to talk to me he will contact me. Sometimes, he's sweet and open, other times he gets so arrogant sometimes and starts talking about how all his friends want him to hook up with a certain person, or essentially how great he is. I know he has a ton of female friends that worship him and that he keeps in much closer contact with them he does with me. He invites them to visit him in Germany and goes and visits them. I know that he has a history with these females. Despite telling him he is always welcome to visit me, he has never come and has never invited me to visit him. I know what all the signs point to, but a couple of things I don't understand. Why does he keep contacting me if he's not that interested in me? I understand that it could just be a sex thing, but with all that we went through together? If it's just about the sex, can't he get that anywhere? Why does it have to be sex with me? And if it has to be sex with me, isn't there a little more to the relationship then just sex?

VictorM's advice:

There is one more thing besides sex -- his ego. And that's what this is all about.

The sex part is clear. He got it with you, he's getting it from a "ton of female friends", and his friends are always trying to hook him up. He obviously likes to brag, which leads to the point below.

His ego enjoys talking to you because even when it was just about sex, you still wanted him. He talks about other girls and you accept it. You're falling for him and he feels it. He's rude to you and you make excuses for him. Basically, he makes one phone call to you and he feels like a king.

In short, he's an egomaniac and you're a human mat -- from his point of view, it's a match made in heaven and one that he has complete control over.